Pissy after last week's epic and beautiful fight, Joss leaves her sister Savannah's pool house to go live with April and Lucy. But between losing Savi as home base on the one hand -- and befuddled by Alex and Olivier's easy friendliness after working so hard to get at him -- Joss only lasts a couple days before a pretty dark meltdown that leaves her emotionally bereft. Which is, of course, exactly the right time for Alex to explain how friendship works, and pick her back up. Less encouragingly, Joss then decides to move in with Alex, which seems like a serious trainwreck idea. We hope for the best.
Before that, though, Joss lays down some excellent real talk on April. After she signs over 20 percent of the shop to get rid of Miranda, Richard asks April away for the weekend (and also wants to tell the girls they're together). She's unsure about all that, but then starts "hallucinating" her dead husband places, which causes her to go mental until Joss explains that whether she's obsessing on grief, or bigamy, or the Miranda shakedown, or ghosts, she's still all about Paul when she should be all about April. (And Lucy… and Hot Dad.) April has a midnight conversation with his gravestone -- because she's April Malloy and that's the April way you do things -- and then just when she's gone eponymously all in with Richard, Paul turns up at her door very much alive.
Buying yet more spy stuff for her house which is already full of spy stuff, Karen runs into Detective Newsome, who suddenly is off her case and interested in being friends or something. After some beautifully shot scenes of her being artsy around her house, she gets creeped out by a mysterious stalker (Sam, obvi) and ends up bonding pretty heavily with Newsome over some wine. At the last second, she realizes she's being a serial monogamist because of Tom Grey grief -- not to mention, as she says, it's still not "clean" between her and Newsome because the investigation is ongoing -- and puts the brakes on. Her big cliffhanger in this halfway-point episode is that Sam Grey is totally stalking her, looking just a little crazier than before.
Savannah continues having her same boring problems and repetitive conversations she always has with Dominic and Harry, but I realized this week it's because part of her story is being in limbo. Until the paternity test comes back -- and then, of course, the baby -- her stress is all about not being able to really make any decisions or do anything of any kind, which is why she's spinning her wheels and being boring. It doesn't help, but I just hadn't thought of that. Anyway, Harry's trying his best and asks to come with her to the retirement party for that partner who's leaving, and then within seconds punches the shit out of Dominic.
How that happens is interesting, though, because Savi can't keep her lies straight, so Dominic thinks that Harry doesn't know they fucked but he does believe it's Harry's baby, while Harry knows the whole story. So Dom's being pretty cool when he congratulates Harry on the baby they're having, as a married couple, which seems like a total dick move where he's saying the opposite. After a stern talking-to from Dominic, who figures everything out instantly, Savi goes home to wait for Harry once again, this time for over 12 hours. Next day, he's right back to being impassive and snotty -- with more and more reason every week to be so. I will be so freakin' glad when those test results come in, because this is for the birds. I want to see Savannah do something. That was so exciting, that one time she actually did something.
Next Week: I think she gets the results? That's exciting. Joss moves in with Alex, which could well be a great idea, who knows. April gets the download on what her dead husband's been up to for three years, and then hopefully kills him like in Double Jeopardy and runs off to Santa Barbara with Richard like any sane person would do. And spookily enough, Sam starts seeing Jacob Lerner as his therapist! Is that a power move or not? I can't figure out whether that's a power move or just deeply crazy. Story of my life.
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Karen totally let Sam Grey take her on a date and kiss her, the only right decision she has ever made in her entire life. Now he is stalking her a little bit. April sold part of her store to get Miranda Nickleby out of the picture, but something about the way she keeps saying "original investor" makes me wonder if it won't be some stuntcasted person down the line. Joss finally found about Savannah's one-night stand and baby daddy drama, and managed to -- pretty convincingly, oddly enough -- make it all about her.
Joss: "Oh, you don't have to get rid of all your dead husband's stuff after three years on my account."
April: "You kind of answered your own question there, huh, but if you want to see it as a favor, go ahead. Want to smell this t-shirt that says World's Greatest Dad? It still smells of Greatness."
Joss: "I am going to need your entire closet for my shoes. They are the only belongings I take with me in my vagabond homeless life because my priorities are for shit."
April: "I am going to regret this, but do you want to talk about your drama?"
Joss: "No, do you want to talk about Richard's penis? Or just penises?"
April: "Having just gotten over freezing Savi out for cheating on her husband, I feel entitled to lecture you about freezing Savi out for cheating on her husband."
Joss: "And as a new long-term guest in your home, I feel entitled to say fuck right off."
SAVANNAH'S ACTUAL KITCHEN
Harry: "I am upset about your suggestion to take lamb off the restaurant menu! It is a signature dish, not to mention a metaphor for my wife's vagina!"
Partner: "I'm just saying, it's okay to get tired of lamb. Pretty much everybody is tired of your lamb. Your lamb is a hurricane of destruction. It's okay to say no to the lamb."
Harry: "It's not that easy to part with the lamb dish! The lamb is all I know! The lamb got me my green card!"
Partner: "I am in charge of the money and I am here to tell you that the lamb is costing us too much. Lamb is costing more and more all the time, especially now that it's cutting its hours down at the office."
Harry: "Well, I'm not asking my wife for money if that's what you're suggesting. I hate her way too much for that."
Partner: "Remember how the place is called Savannah's Kitchen? Because she financed your dumb dream with her entire life savings? Maybe you should reconsider being super bitchy."