Mistresses
Breaking & Entering

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Ham Is You

Dr. Karen Kim: "Yes, that is a thing a person might do. Good thing all my problems are over and I can get back to destroying all records of my practice."

Then she fuckin' goes, "Putting the past on the Cloud, as the kids say nowadays." Ah, Karen Kim. Of all the Karen Kims in this show, you are the Karen Kimmiest. But the past does not stay on the Cloud, as the kids say nowadays: It comes walking into your office, like the rest of its family, whenever the fuck it feels like it. Hello, the Widow Grey. I assume you're here to talk about the way I'm subtly using your family to implode in on myself like a dying star?

JOSS @ WK

A little boy is captivated by his view up Joss's skirt in the elevator because he doesn't know about Free Spirits yet so he just thinks she's a broken beast with daddy issues. The mom is like, "Get a longer skirt!" and Joss snarks, "Get a taller child!" It's pretty rad. Joss is pretty rad a lot of the time, it's nice. Inside, everybody is losing their shit, crying and staring like Bobby Kennedy just got shot.

Joss: "What's wrong with Mona? They close the nearest Blouse Barn?"
Mona: "We're all getting fired. Or murdered!"
Gay: "No, just the boss man you were sleeping with. We've been bought out."
Mona: "Our heads will follow!"
Joss: "You'd think I'd get a courtesy text about this, considering the dude just tried to buy me an entire house a week or so ago. Also, why would we get bought out? We suck. We work at the kind of company where I am acceptable."
Gay: "There is a very sexy man in that office and he won't talk to us. I think he is dicking us around. He won't get off the phone."
Joss: "I'll get him off, folks."
Gay: "For sure, because you are a free spirit."

Joss: "Hello? Sexy French man?"
(They speak a bunch of languages at each other because they are polyglots.)
Joss: "So you're being a dick to everybody. Is that on purpose?"
Olivier: "It is my personality."
Joss: "I'll just go fuck myself, then?"
Olivier: "You do that. And try dressing like an adult instead of Sucker Punch."

Joss tries to twinkle on her way out, but mostly is just thrown. If she can't lead with her vagina, does she even exist at all? Survey says no. Maybe Olivier is into Japanese bondage ropes, maybe that's the ticket. Or maybe he -- like any employer -- is interested in things like profits, and not the unholy mess that Joss drags around with her everywhere she goes like a self-hating Grand Canyon burro.

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Mistresses

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