Mistresses
Breaking & Entering

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Ham Is You

Savi: "I am just absolutely out of my mind, is how."
Harry: "God, I hate you."
Savi: "Let's not fight."
Harry: "I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just stating a fact."
Savi: "Well, but also we love each other."
Harry: "That's true. Even though you forced me into opening a restaurant, apparently."
Savi: "That's true, I did do that. Right before I deformed your sperms with my bad vibes."
Harry: "Will you ever stop disappointing me?"
Savi: "Lookin' less and less likely from here, my dear."
Harry: "I think of our marriage as a black hole from which no light escapes."
Savi: "Me too! Kind of romantic, if you think about it. If you look at it right."
Harry: "It's better than being alone with your self-respect, I guess."

LOVE NEST/FLASHBACK

So wait, he rented this apartment for six whole weeks while he was dying of cancer? Because this shit has been heavily decorated. I guess that's how it works in LA. You want a nice place full of Ikea crap for boning your therapist while you slowly die. Maybe with a set of encyclopedias to look things up, like if you needed to look something up.

Karen calls the landline -- he got a landline, he had a phone line installed, somebody is paying for that in this love nest -- to make sure Sam isn't (or is) there, and then comes inside. The first thing she does is look under a couch cushion, like just in case she left her social security card inside the couch like you do. Then she begins to just straight fuckin' hallucinate.

Karen: "What are you cooking?"
Thomas: "It is kind of a joke. You're such a shitty cook that I made crème brûlée, 'blowtorch ribs,' glazed ham..."
Karen: "That is not a funny joke."

Then he holds the blowtorch aloft and fucking says, out loud, without cracking up, "This little hazardous flame... it's my heart, and I had no idea what beauty it was capable of, until I pointed it in the right direction."

If somebody said that shit to me, I would say, "How about this direction?!" and then melt his face off with it. How dare you say that to me? Just how dare you? "This blowtorch is my heart, which I just realized is for glazing a ham." Kiss kiss. "The ham is you, Karen Kim."

Anyway, obviously Sam Grey comes home while she's having this moment with the memory of ham, and so because she is Karen Kim, her first instinct is to crawl into the cabinetry. So she does that, and then Sam takes a box back into a bedroom, so she escapes, making sure to leave her sunglasses right out in the middle of the room where just anybody can see them and pick them up and start an investigation of her ass.

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Mistresses

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