Mistresses
Breaking & Entering

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
The Ham Is You

April: "Joss, this mansion looks like Willy Wonka lives there. I can't do anything with this. There aren't enough throw pillows in the world."
Joss: "I was afraid you'd say that. Well, what if I showed it off as a party palace instead of a normal-person house? Yes, I'm doing that. That's what I'm doing. Bye."
April: "Okay, guess we can... Oh, she's gone."

DR KAREN KIM & DR JACOB LERNER

Jacob: "Karen, what are you doing at work? Don't you have apartments to break into?"
Karen, verbatim: "Jacob? Do you ... you know ... 'do' things? I mean after work?"
Jacob: "You mean like solve crimes? What the fuck are you ever talking about? Did your parents keep you in a box because of a witch's curse or something? Why don't you understand what it is like to just be a person?"
Karen: "I have to go to this party and I thought you should come with me."
Jacob: "Even though we're coworkers?"
Karen: "I only know three other people, and they're all going. Except my best friend Savannah, who will be busily barfing all night for no particular reason."

SAVI & HARRY (& DOMINIC)

Harry: "To apologize for shitting all over your vacation idea, I bought a sex costume for you to wear for me later. Wasn't that nice of me? To me?"
Savi: "I love when you think of me. For you."

(Ding-dong.)

Savi: "Dominic, what the fuck are you doing here? My husband can't know that I have coworkers!"
Dom: "You got me kicked off the Sullivan divorce, you jerk!"
Savi: "What? I asked to do the opposite of that."
Dom: "We're representing the wife in a divorce, he wanted female counsel on deck to make up for her egregious sweating..."
Savi: "That does make sense. God, I curse my womanhood. Listen, I was just trying to solve our problems that we have..."
Dom: "We do not have problems. You have a problem, and you need to fucking solve it. Screw me if you want to screw me, but don't do it like this."
Savi: "I know, I'm sorry."
Dom: "I mean, do it through sexual intercourse."
Savi: "No, I got it. I get your meaning."

JOSS PARTY

So the party just looks great, and the space itself is fantastic but you can see why a buyer would be put off by the unmanageable cosmetics of it. Joss wanders around yakking at the help, and when Harry points out that the house is bullshit, she snaps at him for a while, and says the phrase twilight preview a million times -- which I hope is a real thing, what a neat idea -- and then when the ladies show up, they all scream (scream) at each other like harpies. I have never seen it in real life, this screaming. You barely even see it on TV anymore. Ugh, with the screaming.

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Mistresses

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