Decisions, Decisions

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 3 USERS: A-
Ride Your Life

Joss: "Men are so dumb and don't get me. There is no emotional connection."
Alex: "That sounds great, actually. Less talking and feeling. I have been breaking up with my lesbian wife for over four thousand years since last we spoke."
Joss: "I am so sorry that it finally happened after all that talking and me doing everything I could to make sure that it happened."
Alex: "I found an apartment without your help. It is close to a yoga studio. Will you move my stuff into it?"
Joss: "Only if you provide me with a vagina vacation, meaningless sexual stand-in."


Accountant: "You don't have very much liquidity, despite your store's name."
April: "I have to get defensive! Even though you are just saying facts! My money is all tied up in throw pillows and wine!"
Accountant: "What is this really about? Are you trying to loan money to a Nigerian prince again? Or a mermaid? Or wait, no. It was a ghost. Are you loaning money to a ghost? As your CPA I highly do not recommend that."
April: "It is kind of to a ghost. Well, the bastard of a ghost. It is for school vouchers for a ghost bastard, so he doesn't have to go to public school with poor people like himself."
Accountant: "I quit."

April: "I don't have time for that, my daughter's school just called."
Jacob: "Did she come down with a case of the invisibles?"
April: "She didn't show up for school today!"
Jacob: "Nailed it."


Her one hot coworker Jacob and her one terrible assistant are there to be very excited for her because she is going to be a keynote speaker and Hilary Rodham Clinton is going to be there and, I don't know, Beyoncé. What is it for? Korean stuff. Yeah apparently Dr. Karen Kim invented Koreans and now they are all over southern California. That's what they're telling me.

Karen: "I don't even remember doing that. But Beyoncé! I wonder if she knows Young Jeezy. I wonder if I can take my child lover that I am the babysitter of."
Dr. Jacob: "Dude I wish I invented Koreans."
Karen: "You're right, I am a superstar."
Newsome: "I am interrupting. Ahem, I mean, am I interrupting?"
Karen: "Gotta go, you guys. This dumb investigator is investigating me, it's so stupid."


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