Karen's deposition takes almost no time at all getting amazing: Dominic sends Savi off to NYC to deal with some high-profile clients to get her out of the episode and then immediately calls Detective Newsome to the table. Karen's scary awesome lawyer shoots him down immediately for having a crush on her, and then the Widow Grey gives her own insane testimony, which is quite the performance.
Then Dom calls in Sam Grey, who flips! He ends up saying his mother was out of the house the night Tom died. Karen assumes this is because he is one of those college guys that fucks you once and then testifies against you in a civil suit, but in fact it is because he felt sorry for his mom -- and more importantly, because Karen actually is the kind of cougar that fucks you and then ignores all your calls.
Need I even say that most of the Karen parts of this incredibly, beautifully trainwrecky episode are just various characters gaping at her with their jaws dropped about how completely bizarre and clueless she is about every aspect of her human existence? I mean, obviously that's what happened, but even for this show it's amazing the percentage of this episode that is just people staring at her crazy ass slowly shaking their heads in wonder as she does stranger and stranger and stupider and stupider things.
Finally, in a truly epic flameout even by Karen Kim standards, she disregards her partner Jacob's attempts to provide an alibi (because, lawyer lady has intuited, he is in love with her) and gives everybody incredibly insane speech about how she was in love with Tom Grey and he was in love with her and she prescribed him lethal doses of morphine like it's this tragic love story, but mostly about how his stupid wife can eat a dick.
Meanwhile, Joss has an epic flameout of her own: After Alex probes her about missing sex with men she somehow radically rewrites history to be about getting Alex's permission to sleep with Olivier, so she cancels a dinner date with an old college friend of Alex's so she can go ahead and do that. Moments later, Alex discovers Gallic bite marks all over her body, and the whole thing comes out.
Feeling put upon by conventional bourgeois morals like "monogamy" and "telling the truth to people instead of being a giant asshole," Joss retreats to Savi's house where -- after sending Harry off on a failed fool's errand to find out his paternity results himself, in one of her patented awesome grownup advice moods -- they somehow end up encouraging each other to act like insane fools who have learned nothing from their experiences over the last eleven episodes except more virulent and various methods of behaving in absolutely horrid ways.
Savi commends Joss for cheating on her girlfriend -- because it's the closest she's ever come to having a relationship, much less fiercely detonating one out of nowhere, like all the other crazy bitches on this show are constantly doing -- and Joss, in turn, decides that fighting for the Davis marriage is just dumb and Savi should sleep with Dominic and we should all just sleep with whoever.
But the most important thing is that April and Richard, who have broken up due to him involving himself in her dumb problems like an adult, remember they made an amusement park date with their kids they have to keep. So they take the girls to Six Flags, and then finally they get back together! And they smooch, and it is excellent! That was the scariest ten-minute breakup of all time, but I'm glad everything worked out.
I mean, yeah, the episode ends with Lucy being kidnapped -- by her dead father? -- but she's a cool kid. She can take care of herself.
Next Week: Savi decides to move on with her life and Dominic and whatever bastard is growing inside her, but Harry's failures are still hers because such is love. Something crazy happens with Karen's case but either way she's just going to find some other area of her life to fuck up anyway. Lucy is presumably located or maybe she really can turn invisible. Joss actually thinks Alex will take her back, and I think she might be right. Which sucks for Alex -- and about Alex -- but not for us, because Shannyn Sossamon continues to be a highlight even among this talented crew. I am going to miss these ladies, I really am. Even dumb ol' Joss.
Who, on a trigger warning note, is totally getting assaulted at some point Philip Stuckey-style -- I think by Harry's business partner? -- because God forbid the Joss character on any TV show ever doesn't eventually get what's coming to her (in the form of raping). So, yikes on that one, but I guess who knows.
Joss finally bought her way into Olivier's affections with her ingenious portrayal of a grown-ass woman -- then doubled down by avoiding his advances, en français, only stoking the fires. April showed compassion for her stupid dead husband by showing him pictures of their daughter and telling him to GTFO, and also broke up with Richard for getting his ass beat by the ghostly marauder. Mostly, though: Karen ignored Natalie Wade's insistence that she manufacture an alibi for the night of her dead lover's death, then made the mistake of sleeping with Sam Grey after he promised to provide one, but before he actually did.
Natalie Wade: "Try again, dipshit."
Karen: "...My name is Dr. Karen Kim. I have somehow been a psychiatrist for over 15 years, and let me tell you that I am fucking terrible at it. I established my current practice with Dr. Jacob Pollack [Not Lerner? Where did I get Lerner?] five years ago. Three years ago, I had an insomnia patient named Thomas Grey, for whom I prescribed..."
Karen: "No, that was way later. For him to commit sui..."
Natalie Wade: "I'm gonna stop you right there. Karen, what the fuck is wrong with you."
Karen: "Everything, Natalie Wade."
Natalie Wade: "I realize they have pharmacy records and stuff, but if you don't talk about it on the record now, they can't compare it to your previous statements and those diaries you faked that Jacob still doesn't understand how that worked. This is about your credibility, not a Wikipedia entry on everything that ever happened in the world."
Karen: "But I didn't presc..."
Natalie Wade: "As I have said multiple times, you plead the fifth. Morphine comes up, you plead the fifth. Affair comes up, you plead the fifth. Specific dates come up, you don't know or you don't recall."
Karen: "Won't that look suspicious?"
Natalie Wade: "Like you give a fuck."
She explains how it doesn't matter how Karen "looks" because there are no invisible people in the room watching this deposition, just four people you can see with normal eyes, and there is no jury to be weirded out by her -- it's just an eventual judge, who exists not now but in the future -- so why is she being an ass-ache about how she "looks" right now? (Spoiler alert, Karen will never grasp this concept. The entire episode is just her obsessing on the idea of invisible people in the room judging her on her ability to blow her own shit up or as she thinks of it, "being honest.")