It's a good thing Karen and Joss basically wrapped their shit up last week -- quitting and getting fired from their jobs, giving up the men and ladies in their lives -- because this week's finale is all-Savannah, all the time, with hints of April's bizarre choices and Karen's latest catastrophe filling out the hour.
April realizes she's forgotten what's appealing about Richard in the wake of her hookup with the dead husband last week, and stops by his house, where it seems like he's moving away. She's relieved, because it means she won't have to break up with him for Paul, but of course Richard's not going anywhere, so she ends up having to dump him anyway. Then a call from Miranda reminds her that in fact she has become the titular mistress in this relationship, and sends Paul packing too. I hope we never see him again, although I will never stop missing Richard. He was the best one.
Karen learns that the Widow Grey was once institutionalized -- despite her professed unfamiliarity with mental health measures -- and decides, when Grey shows up looking ten tons of crazy -- to invite her inside for some day-drinking. They spend the entire episode being creepy with each other, until eventually Elizabeth pulls out a gun and the rest of Tom's morphine and tries to make her commit suicide.
Just in time, Sam shows up and saves the day... Or does he? A three-way battle for the gun -- just after Elizabeth admits she straight-up murdered Tom for still talking about Karen even when he was about to die of his cancer -- ends with blood spattered all over Karen's cute white couch, and that's the end of that. Who got shot? Guess/hope we'll find out next summer. You could make a case for either Grey surviving, but I think we all know where my head is at on this very important issue.
And then there's the Carver Girls. Savi gets a mysterious bouquet for her birthday, and spends the episode fretting over it -- with no idea that Harry has stolen her DNA results and is the only person who knows the paternity of the baby. The girls have bought her a resort vacation in beautiful Palm Springs, but nobody really makes it down there: A last-minute decision to return to LA for the results (and Joss keeping quiet about her inability to keep those results safe) ends in a horrific car accident that puts Savi in the hospital, and everybody else scattered around trying to get to her.
Harry reveals that Dominic is the father of the child, but eventually decides he wants to be with Savi anyway. Joss spends the episode in exquisitely acted misery, since all she cares about is her sister anyway, with Harry a distant second. Dom shows up once Savi's awake (she and the baby are both fine) and professes his love for her and their child, but she still doesn't seem convinced one way or the other. And so it is that everybody except Karen is close by when Savannah crashes, and the episode ends with her flatlining.
Is Savannah really dead? Did she really choose Harry, after all this? Did Karen possibly finish off the entire Grey family in one awkward move, and if not, who did get shot? Will Joss pull her ass together, ever? What will Karen and Joss do for jobs now? Did April really choose being alone over the perfection that is Richard? And most importantly, are Sam's face and body okay? Stay tuned. We'll have word on Season Two by the end of the month.
In the meantime, thanks for sticking around. I probably wouldn't have, if it weren't my job, and that would be a real sucky situation, because I love this show. It got great. When it rose above the frothy sudsy Muggle nonsense that presumably got it on the air, the show struck a balance and took a breath that -- much like each of the ladies at its heart -- transcended the sum of its parts: Witty, and wise, and often far-sighted beyond any reason it might have to be. Television made by people who care about television is a rarer thing than we might hope, but this one cared more than most.
While it might not have focused on the universally revered topics of, say, a Scandal or a Good Wife, what it did focus on -- family, love, sex, intimacy, the future we're all going to be sharing and shapes we'll be assuming in it -- are no less universal, nor vital. Not to say that it was flawless, just that while it never took itself too seriously, we can honestly say looking back that it never erred in the other direction: It always took itself seriously enough.
Even when things (Karen) got hilarious, that the clever and compassionate wisdom behind the stories never got lost. The people that seemed the most together (Savi) ripped off their masks to reveal themselves absolutely unraveling, while the seeming lightweights (April, Joss) put themselves through the most vigorous and inspiring interrogations and transformations I can think of in years' worth of primetime. Stories that seemed very serious (Karen) turned out ridiculous, and the most ridiculous things (Joss) turned out to be the most nutritive, and the rarest, and the most moving of all.
I mean God, what will become of us without Josslyn Carver? And who could have imagined such a question, months ago, ever being asked at all?
All of these people are crazy.
Karen Kim takes a shower. Maybe this is her plan for the day. Ellie Goulding's one hee-hee-hee song about how "anything can happen" certainly takes on a disorienting flavor when it's Karen Kim taking a shower during it, because literally anything could happen.
Boom! Your shower is a portal to a crystal dimension full of magical crystals for wishing crystal wishes and dreaming heart-fire dreams. Boom! You are murdered in this shower by somebody dressed like his mom. Well, to be fair, that's a fairly likely scenario, but remember: Anything can happen: Boom! You are going to get dressed and go to work as though you have not been fired and are still medically licensed. It is possible nobody will notice. It is possible that anything can happen!
It is possible that April is cuddled up with sleepy Lucy, confronted by the one framed photograph of her dead husband that the poltergeist has not shattered. (The poltergeist being April.) It is even possible that she feels tempted, mocked, weirded out by this photograph, because the last person she slept with was not the most perfect boyfriend in the world but in fact a phantom.
It is possible that Joss is scrambling the fuck around the poolhouse, looking for her sister's paternity results, wanting nothing less than to end up calling Harry, which she knows she has to do, because he has stolen them and probably knows the results! But what are they? We still don't know. Anything can happen.
...But probably the baby is Harry's, based on the big shades-of-yellow birthday bouquet that arrives outside Savannah's door while all this mess and showering and ghost-sex regret is going on. "Happy Birthday," says the card, and that's it. Perhaps it has been sent to her by Anonymous, and the secret why she's never at work is that her real work is the revolution all the time, and she uses her money to finance a certain kind of justice, which she considers her real job, an avocation of sorts. Anything can happen!
Whenever I hear that song I like to close my eyes and pretend to be Mindy Kaling pretending I have just gotten on an elevator with the man who might be The One and that song has just started playing in the romantic comedy of life. Hee hee hee hee-ee-ee hee.
Ladies: "...And many mooore! Was that enough off-key that we don't have to pay for it?"