I Choose You

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 23 USERS: A
Don't Go To The Springs!
Lady: "She saw about a hundred therapists. We had to hold her down! That lady was so rambunctious in her craziness. I remember her screaming, If anybody fucks both my husband and my son I will destroy them! and thinking, What are the odds? Who on Earth is so clueless they would get into a mess like that?"


Sam: "Mom, why are you drinking a full tumbler of scotch in my bedroom and going through my things and staring at that picture of Karen in my bedside table? And why is your hair so mussed? Why, it's fallen out of its bun! And your lipstick is migrating."
Liz: "It is because I am going fucking all the way around the bend. I look on the outside like I feel on the inside!"

She goes, "When did you have occasion to take candids of Dr. Kim?"

I have never been this happy in my whole lifetime of being alive.

Liz: "Was this during her affair or after she killed him?"
Sam: "Let's talk about this when you're sober. Like a week from now. Boom!"

She cracks him one across the face and then starts yelling about how he is a cowering coward just like his dead father.

Sam: "Yeah, I am just like him. Driven away by your REFRIGERATOR HEART!"
Liz: "She came to me, you know. Worried that you were in love with her, because she would be so bummed out by that, because you are a pathetic child."
Sam: "Then why did she fuck me?"

A tympani starts going on the soundtrack, or maybe in Elizabeth's brittle mind. Her lipstick migrates further outward, and one eye starts twitching like it's Ren & Stimpy, and she squeezes her bourbon glass until it shatters, and then she just licks her arm and sucks on the carpet, murmuring strange chants. Bites the heads off flower arrangements, yells at birds. Slaps a yard guy. Slaps him the fuck again.


Savi: "Dominic, I told you no birthday flower arrangements!"
Dom: "No you didn't, because why would anybody say that or have to say that. But also, why would I do that? After twelve episodes I finally got the memo that I was being a creeper."

There's an awfully strange moment where that redhead assistant brings her a gift-basket from the partners, who have enrolled her in the Cheese of the Month, which is just insane I think, and Dom goes, "That is a big deal for your birthday" and Savi snorts, "No, that's a big wheel. OF CHEESE!" and honks at herself and the hilarious joke she just made and then tosses the cheese basket in the assistant's face and goes, "You can just go ahead and keep that behind your desk."

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