Mistresses
I Choose You

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 23 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Don't Go To The Springs!

THE RESORT

They're met with bubbles on the road outside, it's that kind of thing: Giant crystal containers full of bonbons and a beefy guy named Brendan getting his shit worked by Joss, who tries to get him to switch the rooms around so they can adjoin April and Karen, and whatever. This is Brendan: "Such a beautiful creature deserves whatever she wants." That kind of crap. So Joss pays him off and Savi waddles around being pregnant and feeling old and flirted-with, and meanwhile Joss is terrifiedly on the phone with Harry's voicemail.

Joss: "I know you don't give a shit about Savi, but you and I are close, and she and I are close, so please get that envelope back in the guesthouse before my return. Or else, you dick."

RICHARD

Is moving out of town! Oh no! April, you asshole. I'm going to go ahead and blame you for this even though he's probably just desperately trying to reconcile with his ex-wife in Chicago, leading you to freak out, only to then realize what a hypocrite you're being. I have to admit, in the previews for last week when she looked in and saw the windows and gasped, I had a sharp pain in my stomach that said maybe Richard was moving away, but I chose to ignore that feeling. I chose to say to myself, "Just like that Ellie Goulding song says, Jacob, anything can happen."

RESORT

Some guy is trying to get his semi-cute kid to jump in the pool with him, and Savi watches because kids. Not to be rude, I'm just saying it's not the cutest kid I've ever seen in my life. Just kidding, it is totally the cutest kid. I was just playing it cool.

Savi's like, "Even that little kid has a gay dad to go swimming with. What's my bastard got? Nothing. Not even a bouquet of flowers. Just four women more helpless than toddlers, who will probably lose him or her in a poker game or brewery tour before he or she turns a year old." Then the kid finally jumps in his dad's arms, and Savi throws her hands up in the air, so proud of this kid she will never see again. It is a fairly awesome moment.

Then the mom shows up and Savi gets a little weird and looks at the mom, and her pride for the little boy -- finally jumping, finally living, being a person regardless of how scary that might be -- mixes with the nuclear family of it all and Savannah makes a decision! She slaps a sleepy, tanning Joss on the ass and says they have to go home again!

Which is fine because it is not that far from where they currently are!

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Mistresses

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