Mistresses
Payback

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 17 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Shania, I'm Allergic To Mayo

Miranda: "You act like this nice, sweet person, like you're some kind of saint who's trying her best to help poor me, but it's all fake."
April: "It is not all fake. My husband died. Your not-husband didn't*."
Miranda: "Oh, the nobility. Because I'm just some whore that got knocked up, I'm less than you."
April: "Honey, yeah. I mean, say it however you want, but yeah."
Miranda: "You say you're struggling, but your kind of struggling is not the same as my kind of struggling."
April: "That's true. Also true though, is close your legs to married men. Get the fuck out, I'm late for Pound Town."

Way to take your perfectly valid point and make it seem like something the Devil would say, Miranda. God. What a jerk. I was willing to see your point despite my love of April Malloy, but somehow you turned it around into acting like an asshole. I can't even see how you did it exactly, I just know that I wouldn't be giving you a damn thing at this point.

*(Also, if Paul is not dead, this whole thing is hilarious. If Miranda is so committed to this role that she's gonna go lie down in the driveway and wait for April to run her over, then she wins all the awards for awesome because that is some serious character work. That is like some Sydney Bristow shit.)

JOSS'S BUSYWORK

I am still not clear on it. I think the Italian couple who owns this house is unsure about selling the property, and for some reason that's not enough for Olivier, so now Joss is there to railroad the couple into letting her sell the house (or maybe just sell it without telling them?). The lady -- who like all ladies likes to put on a pantsuit and chill by the pool all day, just staring into space -- is impressed by Joss's ability to speak Italian, but even more so by her inability to comprehend boundaries, and before you know it homegirl's snapping photos of the backyard and calling the husband pussywhipped, and the lady just finds all of this darling.

SAVANNAH'S KITCHEN

Long story short, Tits is all over Harry about giving him blowjobs, and Harry is not interested, and then she invites him over to be her live-in sexy boss, and Harry is not interested, and then Tits just lets out one long low Audrina Patridge mooooo and goes off to confirm some more reservations or whatever her job is.

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Mistresses

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