Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 17 USERS: A-
Shania, I'm Allergic To Mayo


April: "God, that bitch is the worst. I hate her and her stupid biracial baby. Let's go to a Dodgers game!"
Richard: "No, I am not in the mood for that anymore."
April: "Are you dumping me? Because of my horrible vortex of a life?"
Richard: "Counter to everything that I have said in the past, I have been sucked into the vortex and now your vortex is my vortex and you're allowed to go on and on about it."

She does. It is amazing because April is amazing.

"The worst part is, that bitch is right! I don't want to give her money. I don't to give her anything, other than a cunt-punting. Fuck her. She ruined my marriage retroactively, she keeps showing up places, she was a ghost for a while..."

Richard: "So maybe just say fuck her. Send her away empty-handed."
April: "Right? But that seems like a dick move, somehow. God, I love my life. Cute daughter, shop crammed full of shit, more throw pillows than you can shake a stick at, I got a hot boyfriend..."
Richard: "You consider me one of your blessings?"
April: "Yeah, it sounds kinda gay when I say it like that, but yeah."
Richard: "I like it. I am perfect, so it fits."


Joss: "Wait, so we still don't have the listing? That chick was all over me."
Olivier: "I mean it's cool that you made a new MILF friend, but the file clearly says no pictures and the lady told you no pictures, and then you took pictures."
Joss: "Stop judging my job performance based on results! Stop underestimating me by accurately estimating me!"
Olivier: "Seriously though, you are the worst. You pissed off the husband. And the thing is, I know you. I knew you would fuck this up. I only gave it to you so you would leave. This is on me, really. This and all your other mistakes."
Joss: "You have no idea who I am."
Olivier: "Actually I have an uncannily accurate picture of who and what you are. You are the person who thinks her way is the only way, and that everyone else needs to see that as well. So you use your charm, worldliness, and sexual dysfunction to get what you want. In life, the rules do not apply to Josslyn Carver. That is what you are."
Joss: "To be fair, my way is the best way. So your points are all invalid. I win."

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