Miranda: "I have no response to that except total spooky-eyes."
Karen: "Sometimes I like to spend the day and long into the night prancing around my home office in a kimono, enjoying tea."
Burglar: "Sometimes I like to stalk and kill you."
Under the tea there's a picture of Karen looking amazing, and on the back Sam has written, "I am going to wear your skin over my body like a costume and your beautiful hair will go over my scalp like a wig. Love, Sam." Karen stares at the picture like she's never seen a photograph before, not even, like, fazed by the fact that a person is fully running around her house in the middle of the night. First of all, How Very Karen. But secondly, if Sam Grey was in my house? Stalking me and being all sexy? I would not let some creepy photograph deter me from locating him. One thump or bump in the night and it's straight to yelling "Marco!" The heat would be on.
They literally haven't shared more than two sentences since like the pilot, so you knew it was going to be heavy. And it is fuckin' heavy! I mean, Savannah has just completely erased any of her legs to stand on, and Joss is all about herself so that's going to be pretty awful from that direction too, but you also kind of get the feel that it will be remarkable, and it is.
Savi: "Okay so in the spirit of disclosure, April told me you know I'm pregnant."
Joss: "That's actually two shitty things in one. Does everybody know? Because then that's at least five shitty things."
Savi: "Also, I cheated on Harry and have no idea who the father is. And we might get a divorce."
Joss: "...Speaking as the biggest trainwreck in American history, I'm impressed."
Joss: "I am going to need you to tell me why I don't know any of this."
Savi: "I mean, if you must know it's because I knew what you were gonna say. You'd let me off the hook, give me some slutty philosophical bullshit about monogamy, and tell me I was fine."
Joss: "For the record, that's not entirely accurate. Although you're correct that I wouldn't judge you, considering I'm not into that and also because I'm your sister and I love you."
Savi: "Still. I am just so perfect and hard on myself and..."
Ugh. The worst. The worst! I can't stand people who say that like it's a humblebrag. Listen, anybody tells you who they are, just assume the opposite is true. Our reputation comes from our behavior, not our propaganda. Anybody who tells you they work too hard, or they're perfectionists, or whatever sneaky pride thing -- that they are honest or a good friend or a good listener or they just tell it like it is, whatever the thing is they need you to believe -- what they're really saying is that they wish they were that way, but they are not yet that way. Because if they really were, they wouldn't need to say it because you'd already know.