Mistresses
Payback

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 17 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Shania, I'm Allergic To Mayo

Joss: "Okay, but first I'm going to throw shit around your office because I am a nightmare."

LAW OFFICE

Dominic: "Another partner is leaving or retiring or dying, which is very exciting. And I have heard that -- fucking somehow -- you and I are at the top of the short list."
Savi: "Is that really why you came in here? To share watercooler gossip with me?"
Dominic: "No, it's also to say that your hair looks ratchet in this scene. And also I am in love with you, for reasons that are less and less apparent."
Savi: "You know what, fine. I'm not not into you. But I'm pregnant. And it's Harry's. And our doomed marriage that neither of us care about is just the priority right now. For neither of us."
Dominic: "Oh, that changes things. I mean before, you were just married and not interested and we work together and you ruined both of our careers -- apparently not permanently -- and you've been a bitch to me more since this show started than we actually knew each other before this show started. But hey, another man's baby? Now you're talking my sexist bullshit language."
Savi: "On the one hand, it worked. On the other hand, what an embarrassing lie this might turn out to be."

REAL ESTATE

Mona: "Why are you Googling Olivier? So you can fuck him, I bet."
Joss: "Yes, so I can fuck him. At least in his mind. I can't manipulate him until I understand him. (Also, I am obviously going to fuck him.)"
Mona: "You don't actually have to manipulate every situation. You could try being authentic and..."
Joss: "-- I have to do things my way, Mona. I'm not a stupid ugly bitch like you, Mona. I have borderline personality disorder, Mona."
Mona: "Why are you being so intense about this?"
Joss: "Used to be I would just put on a quote 'nice outfit,' steal some of Savi's jewelry, turn on the charm, boom. Done. Now he's taking money out of my pocket, Mona. He's thwarting me!"
Mona: "Google says he eats bananas because of potassium. Do you think his chest is hairy? What does Google say about his body hair?"
Joss: "-- God. Just shut the fuck up, Mona."

Joss pushes Mona's face into a garbage can and takes Mona's stupid lunch out of the work fridge and smears it all over Mona's ass and then pushes her into a duck pond and then lights her on fire. Joss will not be thwarted. Not today.

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Mistresses

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