Jacob: "Are you trying to tell me something? Because I generally prefer [white girls]. No offense. But seriously, though, what is your actual question? No more joking around."
Karen: "How do you handle an unrequited crush? Say a girl keeps calling you, but you don't have any interest in pursuing the relationship. What would you do?"
Jacob: "Focus on graduating from middle school, you dumbass."
He walks her through it -- in what fucking world, in what realm, is this a conversation you have with a nearly forty-year-old person? -- and I mean, do I have to tell you what he says?
Or that she totally is going to do the opposite?
FUCKING MOMENTS LATER
Karen: "Sam, it's Karen Kim calling you back after your 188th message, just like everybody told me exactly not to do."
Sam: "Great, do you want to go on a date?"
Karen: "Well, I mean... It's only the worst thing I could possibly do..."
Sam: "I hear reluctance. May I remind you that my daddy is dead?"
Karen: "I can be wherever you are inside of ten minutes."
Savi: "April, have a seat. I have a thick folder of things about your babymama. Miranda Nickleby, 35 years old, she's from Rochester, Minnesota."
April: "She's a white girl!"
Savi: "I don't see race. Anyway, she moved to Orlando in 2005, and got a job as a receptionist at the skeevy-sounding Coconut Grotto in 2007..."
April: "That's where my husband always stayed on his numerous, near-constant trips to Orlando."
Savi: "I'm sure that means nothing."
April: "Fucking are you?"
Savi: "How else is this lady going to con you without a paper trail? This supports both theories."
April: "This meeting is abruptly over for no reason."
Savi: "I mean, you still have memories. And Lucy, sort of."
April: "PAUL IS DEAD! I AM THE WALRUS!"
Savi: "Actually, you're the hottest one on the show. Besides, unfortunately, Sam Grey."
April: "My life is a lie, and my husband rots in hell. You know who I hate?"
April: "No, for once on this show. I was going to say I hate cheaters. Why is because they cheat."
Savi: "I have some news that supports both theories. For I am a woman and a cheater. I cheated, just last night."