Savi: "Look, I am so glad you came to me, but right now isn't..."
Joss: "That's fine fuck it never mind goodbye my fault for trying go to hell."
Savi: "But my husband started an Australian brouhaha at a work function! I just can't be arsed right this second looking crazier than I already... damn, there she goes."
Sam is waiting, lurking, at her house. She acts all skittish because she doesn't know what is going on, and he's like, "Oh, should I have called first? Instead of lurking in the dark like this? My bad."
Sam: "First of all, it breaks my heart that you're scared of me..."
Karen: "You have no idea what being a woman is like so you have no way of knowing how every nerve in my body has been on high alert since you started stalking me. I mean to tell you that it is exhausting."
Sam: "Guys honestly don't understand that. To the point where when you try to explain it, we get upset because it makes us feel like rapists just for existing."
Karen: "I know that, but it would be nice to have one minute out of every day where I wasn't walking through a minefield of men's feelings. Nobody has any idea what that life would even be like, including women but also men."
"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them."
Margaret Atwood said that, and as a poet she would of course say it best, but even trying to explain this to a man in such plain language, they just start whining and yelling about how she needs to buy a gun and sorry you're such a dyke feminist and who would rape her anyway -- when what they're saying is, "You're putting thoughts in my head and words in my mouth that aren't there." Because they're used to being the ones talking, and therefore they have to react like it's currently happening.
Like it's a verb and not just the noun of what is. Just a fact, that's bigger than us both.
Only men (or very sheltered young ladies) have the option of thinking men and women -- male and female bodies -- are interchangeable, and therefore equal, and therefore any discussion of the differences is bringing division and combat into the situation. That only looks like feminism to people who don't understand what being alive in a body is like; to the rest of us, its patriarchal naïveté at best and toxic privilege at worst. To be afraid of being laughed at is just as real as being afraid of getting killed or raped. One fear doesn't replace the other. Being sensitive to understanding that is not doing a lady a favor, it's being a human.