But. The surprise in this soufflé is that the God of Hard Things does approve. It's more important to dig down under Joss's bullshit than it is to follow the rulebook. She loves this girl, she loves sleeping with this girl, and that is more important right now than wherever it takes them both. This is a positive step. Over a cliff, but a positive one nonetheless.
You change constantly, all the time, moving into the future: The God of Hard Things doesn't care about your best day, or your fuckups, He just wants you to keep changing. Because He knows, as we all secretly know, that everything is moving forward all the time anyway: We only ever add to ourselves. Never take away. Even when it's crummy shit, drugs or a bad situation, abuse or whatever it is: Those things may be louder, but they don't replace anything that was already there. You just have to listen harder for the strong parts, sometimes, until you're better. The only thing that really hurts you is standing still.
Ladies: "April, we are all leaving voicemails to see what happened with your sting operation."
April: "What happened? I FUCKING RULED, THAT'S WHAT."
Always one for the objective correlative, April rips up that check and then flips her sign: Maison is open for business!
(Paul tells the Ghost Motelier that he will be staying in town. For further nefarious doing? Or because he finally noticed that April is amazing and that Miranda is settling?)
Gets the results, and takes a drama moment to stare out into a conference room where Dominic is, and then at her picture of Harry... and then the fucking moron hides the envelope in her desk! And locks it!
I get it, I do. But good Lord. She keeps saying specifically that she knows disclosure will heal her, regardless of whatever it does to everybody else, but the only time she actually goes there is when it hurts the maximum amount of people. Just open the thing, baby.
Do you know that saying about "anxiety is time travel"? Basically that when your body flips out on you, it's because it has traveled to a future time where the Bad Thing happens, and your body is activating -- hormones, trigger responses, brain chemistry -- to fight that thing. But the thing doesn't exist. You have borrowed trouble.
Which is helpful to remember when you are panic-attacking or just feeling general anxiety, but a lot harder advice to follow in a situation like this. I do it all the time too, I'm the worst about this and it screws me every time. But in this one particular case, I mean, it seems like the five-second rule would apply: "You know how I just told you I wanted a divorce because you're being a giant twat about this baby? Guess what? Over it! And also guess what?"