Mistresses
Ultimatum

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 20 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
The Noun Of What Is
Savi: "No, that's not this one. I think it's the next one."
Harry: "Sorry, I'm busy. Some of us actually go to work. Let me know how it goes."

I love how everything he does confounds her like he's coming in on satellite and there's a slight delay or like she's having to mentally translate his gross Australian language into English. But this one in particular is great because he does think she looks nice, and he is excited about the baby inside her, and he does love her and their marriage, and he really would go to this appointment if he didn't, you know, hate her.

SHOPPING W/ ALEX

This same tall extra keeps walking behind them through this whole conversation, carrying different things. Guy in a hoodie! Guy with a ficus! Guy with a handlebar mustache! It's excellent. I love you, Things Guy.

Alex: "Seriously what the fuck is up with the throw pillows? You bitches talk about throw pillows the way Austinites talk about breakfast tacos. It's unrelenting, reckless."
Joss: "We just need like eleven more throw pillows. And mint for mojitos and also a rug. (For munching.)"
Alex: "Do you realize I am broke? No matter how much yoga I teach, I will always be of modest means. But you're redecorating like you're nesting -- problem one -- while lying that you're only temporarily crashing on my floor -- problem two -- and it's all on my dime, even though you're bizarrely affluent."
Joss: "First of all, if I don't back into this situation I'll never turn myself gay, so respect the process. As to your money concerns, just put it on credit cards! I have no care for consequence! Free spirit over here."

Alex spots Sally with some other skinny blonde that looks exactly like Lydia Hearst. Actually, hang on... it is Lydia Hearst! Doesn't that just beat all. My Miu Miu von Furstenberg obsession yields fruit much more often than you would think, but one skill it would seem to have given me is the ability to identify Lydia Hearst on sight.

Joss: "Don't worry, you look fabulous. And as the only brunette in LA, you have cache."
Sally: "Ladies! Still pretending you're not gay on each other, I see. This is my new girlfriend Story."
Lydia Hearst: "Story as in Bedtime Story, if you know what I mean. (What I mean is sex.)"
Joss: "You're speaking my language. But because I am a monster with only one female friend, I deeply hate you immediately."

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Mistresses

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