I want to know because I want to spend all my time with Sam Grey just hearing his boring stories and watching him be weird -- and almost-blink at things, that most of all -- but also for the show's benefit I hope we never find out. I think it'll be the latter. But that doesn't mean I can't imagine them talking about all kinds of things.
"Did you know I went to Brown? Yeah, but I dropped out. My dad died of cancer, I think he was having an affair. I am in love with an unstable professional woman almost twice my age, but she keeps thinking my romantic overtures are more murderous than they are. But now, Jacob," he'll say, "Now, it's all about you and me. Let's do this."
And Dr. Lerner will say, "I'm flattered, Sam, but I think we need to focus more on your issues."
And Sam will say, "I wasn't talking to you," and then turn toward the screen, looming larger and larger until his face fills my television, and then he will almost blink, very, very slowly, directly into the camera. The End.
Karen: "Sam, this is a voicemail I am leaving you while I know you're in session. Please call me. I know you were going to because that's all you ever do, but I will answer this time."
Karen heads out to see April in her crisis, probably to pump her for the deets on Paul's travel arrangements or some other bizarrely concrete facts about what is going on.
"So you say she was waiting for the life insurance check to post to your account? That is very interesting. Oh, and then it did? Go on."
Dominic: "Fucking what is wrong with you? Asking me to sign over all parental rights just in case the baby is mine?"
Savannah: "Just another example of my swift legal mind in action. Ask yourself if you want any of the responsibility that comes with father a child. When you were fucking me on this very desk, that time I was dressed like a sorceress, were you thinking, 'I can't wait to pay child support on this bad idea'? No, you were doing what you felt like doing."
Dominic: "The difference is that I am now responding with agility instead of trying to railroad and control everything. The baby is real, so that's the new reality. I am responding to the situation, not wishing it away or sabotaging it like you two losers."
Savannah: "Look. I'm sticking with Harry -- as far as I'm aware, which is not much -- and that means whoever's this baby is, it's Harry's."