All In the Family
A shady kid (presumably Dylan) looks through the window of the front door at Phil & Claire's before finally ringing the doorbell. Haley and Claire race to get it, Claire wins, but then Haley makes a quick introduction and ushers Dylan upstairs. Claire grabs him to quiz him about his status. She finds out that he's a senior and she snags Phil on the way out to scare Dylan. But in cool dad lingo, he tries to do a fist-bump and calls him a playa. He interviews that it was his plan, to say one thing and then put the fear in with his eyes. He then steps up on the stairs to look down at Dylan, but falls on the baby oil and hurts his back. Dylan cradles him and carries him to the couch, and Phil insists he doesn't want a doctor. He lies in pain for a while.
At the mall we see Manny running around (with Gloria and Jay trailing behind him). He's got a sheet of paper, the flowers and is wearing the puffy shirt from Seinfeld. The paper is where's he's written a poem for Brenda, who works at the Foto Fun store. Jay offers him 50 bucks to stop. But the savvy 11-year-old says he doesn't need money. Jay wonders why he needs a 16-year-old. It's clearly been a long time since Jay was a pre-teen in love. Gloria says that Manny is strong like a bullfighter. Jay can't bear to watch. I can! Please show it! I'm all about teenage humiliation. Anyway, Gloria says that Jay's grumpy because hot soccer dad thought that he was her father. She wants to get him some younger clothes to make him more hip. He doesn't care about that stuff. She thinks it only matters what she thinks of him anyway, and she loves him... no matter how old he is. Aw. Romance. He still thinks that Manny is making a fool of himself, but Gloria says that he's part of their family now and he needs to be more supportive of him. Though she says it in her unique colloquial way. Manny comes back, with a picture, downtrodden because she has a boyfriend. "I gave her my heart, she gave me a picture of me as an old-time sheriff." Ha. If I didn't already love this show, having an 11-year-old paraphrase Say Anything would have tipped me over the edge. The picture is adorable, and Gloria reassures him that it was very brave. Jay starts walking off to the pretzel stand, and a security guard tries to get him in the appropriate mall-walker lane, filled with tons of old people in tracksuits. He walks into a store that appears to sell Ed Hardy-type merchandise.