On the plane, Mitchell says that he noticed that everyone stopped fawning over Lily the second that Cameron got on the plane. He says he's going to give the speech, but Cameron talks him down since they are trapped in a confined space with the fellow passengers for the next five hours. Then a woman passes by and says, "look at that baby with those cream puffs." Mitchell's totally offended, he says that Lily would have grown up in a crowded orphanage if it wasn't for the "cream puffs" and then starts lecturing everyone about people being homophobic. It's very pompous. But then the camera pans down and we see Cameron desperately trying to get Mitchell's attention, because literally the baby is actually holding a pastry. Mitchell just sits down, while Cameron says that they'd like to pay for everyone's headsets.
Phil is greasing a small tousled head (presumably Luke's) who is fairly well jammed between the rungs on the banister. Alex says that he should get checked out by a specialist, and Haley also announces that she's having a friend over later that day. A boy. Luke and Alex tease and make "ew, gross" noises, while Claire pries for more info. The boy's name is Dylan, but Haley's rethinking inviting him around her family. Wise move, young teenager. Claire says that she's 15, and they are just surprised since it is the first boy she's had over. Phil jokes that he's going to charge the camcorder. He tells the cameras that he is a hip dad, how he talks about texting, being on the internet and knowing the dances to High School Musical. We see a sampling of this; it's as awkward as you'd imagine.
Alex comes in screaming that Luke shot her with a plastic BB gun. Claire says this is Phil's fault for letting him have a gun and therefore she expects him to deal with it. He says, "Uncool." That's not good enough since apparently there was an agreement that if Luke shot someone, the parents would shoot him back. Fair and mean. I like it. Luke starts crying crocodile tears, but Claire doesn't buy it. Then it is a matter of scheduling -- Luke has a birthday party, and when he returns at two, Phil's showing a house, and at three there's a soccer game. They figure that 4:15 is the most available time. Claire puts "shoot Luke" on the calendar, and therefore it's happening. I kind of love her.
Manny is leaving the soccer field saying that he's quitting soccer. Gloria says no, he'd be good if he stopped staring at a blonde girl. In the car Jay wonders why she had to blow up at annoying soccer mom. He wants her to take it down, but she lives high, not down low... or something. He asks for Manny's help, but he's too busy mooning over Brenda to be of any use. Gloria says that the girl in question is 16. He calls her out on her hypocrisy, "So its OK for you to take an older lover?" Nice one. So far, he's the best kid. He wants to get his shiny white silk shirt and go to the mall where she works. Jay says this is a ridiculous plan, and he'll be embarrassed at school. Manny makes him stop the car, and he jumps out, to pick some flowers.