Mondo Extra
2005 MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Anything Can't Happen

Some people pray to Mecca five times a day. Diddy genuflects to Biggie, and for some reason he makes sure we all do it with him. Here we go, another Biggie montage, another mention of Biggie's mama, another Biggie t-shirt, another reminder that Diddy doesn't care that we know he killed Tupac. Diddy puts on a white jacket, asks for some of the lights to turn off, and then with all the lights off, he hands off his microphone. Diddy then sets to orchestratin'. And Biggie performs from beyond. Anything Can Happen! Diddy orchestrates people and the crowd and Snoop and women holding violins. Diddy orchestrates us, our wallets, our patience, and the boundaries of taste. Snoop wanders around, trying to find the exit sign. It ends without fanfare.

Stee: Dude. Seriously. Biggie is dead. Get over it.
Pamie: Diddy is wearing the Glarkware Biggie ringer.
Stee: Hey, Doritos. Tell wine to relax.
Djb: Oh. Biggie's mother. Not a pretty girl, as my Mom would say.
Pamie: Uh-oh. He's on the move. Camera Two. Follow!
Stee: "Fo-llah!"
Pamie: Yeah. Turn off the lights. Turn off the power. Lock the doors. Go to bed. Best VMAs ever.
Stee: He ain't conducting shit.
Pamie: He conducted the Power button.
Stee: Oh my God. Diddy can talk to the dead.
Djb: He's like The Ghost Whisperer with Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Pamie: "I died thirty-one years ago. I'm haunting your VMAs, don't you know?"
Djb: "I'm chillin' with your grandma!"
Stee: "Come to the light, Carol Ann."
Pamie: "This house ain't clean!"
Stee: Dear MTV: When Diddy pitches idea to you, you only have to know one word: "No."
Djb: Dear MTV: More Made.
Pamie: Yes! I need more sluts who want to be prom queens. I need skateboard freaks who want to sing in the choir.
Stee: More Making The Bands. I must have Chopper beating Frederick's ass at all times.
Pamie: Here are some new Made ideas...
Djb: "I want to be made into a recapper!"
Pamie: Ooh, that's a good one. "What's wrong, Tammy! You don't want to drink more wine? Check your forums! Pussy!"
Djb: "You gotta pick a squee name, Tammy!"

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

Mondo Extra
2005 MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Anything Can't Happen

Some people pray to Mecca five times a day. Diddy genuflects to Biggie, and for some reason he makes sure we all do it with him. Here we go, another Biggie montage, another mention of Biggie's mama, another Biggie t-shirt, another reminder that Diddy doesn't care that we know he killed Tupac. Diddy puts on a white jacket, asks for some of the lights to turn off, and then with all the lights off, he hands off his microphone. Diddy then sets to orchestratin'. And Biggie performs from beyond. Anything Can Happen! Diddy orchestrates people and the crowd and Snoop and women holding violins. Diddy orchestrates us, our wallets, our patience, and the boundaries of taste. Snoop wanders around, trying to find the exit sign. It ends without fanfare.

Stee: Dude. Seriously. Biggie is dead. Get over it.
Pamie: Diddy is wearing the Glarkware Biggie ringer.
Stee: Hey, Doritos. Tell wine to relax.
Djb: Oh. Biggie's mother. Not a pretty girl, as my Mom would say.
Pamie: Uh-oh. He's on the move. Camera Two. Follow!
Stee: "Fo-llah!"
Pamie: Yeah. Turn off the lights. Turn off the power. Lock the doors. Go to bed. Best VMAs ever.
Stee: He ain't conducting shit.
Pamie: He conducted the Power button.
Stee: Oh my God. Diddy can talk to the dead.
Djb: He's like The Ghost Whisperer with Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Pamie: "I died thirty-one years ago. I'm haunting your VMAs, don't you know?"
Djb: "I'm chillin' with your grandma!"
Stee: "Come to the light, Carol Ann."
Pamie: "This house ain't clean!"
Stee: Dear MTV: When Diddy pitches idea to you, you only have to know one word: "No."
Djb: Dear MTV: More Made.
Pamie: Yes! I need more sluts who want to be prom queens. I need skateboard freaks who want to sing in the choir.
Stee: More Making The Bands. I must have Chopper beating Frederick's ass at all times.
Pamie: Here are some new Made ideas...
Djb: "I want to be made into a recapper!"
Pamie: Ooh, that's a good one. "What's wrong, Tammy! You don't want to drink more wine? Check your forums! Pussy!"
Djb: "You gotta pick a squee name, Tammy!"
Pamie: "Put your fingers on Home Row and get to typing."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP