Mondo Extra
2005 MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Anything Can't Happen

Pamie: "Put your fingers on Home Row and get to typing."
Djb: "But I have a math test tomorrow!"
Pamie: "Recap, maggot!"
Djb: "You call your friends and tell them you can't go out tonight!"
Pamie: On second thought, I don't want to be Made.

Johnny Knoxville and Common take the microphone. They both raise their arms in praise acceptance. Patter, patter, patter. Knoxville makes Common freestyle about Miami. Common gives a shout-out to Hustle and Flow, and judging from the audience response, it's another film they didn't pay to see. Johnny gives a shout-out to the meth in his pocket. The nominees for the MTV2 award: Akon, "Locked Up"; The Bravery "An Honest Mistake"; Daddy Yankee, "Gasolina"; My Chemical Romance, "Helena"; and Mike Jones, "Still Tippin." Houston in the hizzouse! Oh, and Fall Out Boy, "Sugar We're Goin' Down." M2 does six, bitches!

Djb: What is that? With all the "featuring"s in the name of the song? Is that a math problem?
Stee: "If F equals Slim Thugs divided by Fat Joe."

Fall Out Boy wins, and they look like a parody of a rock band. Ties and hats and awkward-fitting jackets. Weird hair and unfortunate choices in ensembles. The thankings begin and then end. They tell My Chemical Romance they're the best band on earth and that they should have won, and since this award was voted on by the fans, this is the most important award of the night. Um, have you guys not heard of the Fashion Contest? Don't think too highly of yourselves, boys. See you on Where Are They Now?

Pamie: Every year the M2 award goes to the biggest-looking tools.
Stee: The biggest-looking tools? "Hey, monkey wrench. You are a rather large tool. You win!"
Pamie: They always have stupid-ass hair. Ill-fitting clothes. Dumb makeup. And we've never heard of them.
Stee: They look like guys from my typing class in my high school.
Pamie: That's exactly who they look like. Do you think the guy on the left will look back and regret his choices in life?
Djb: I hate his rope belt.
Pamie: It's all wrong. His pants are so high up. Tucked into his boobs.

Speaking of boobs: Fat Joe. He introduces some faces of Reggaetone -- Latinos, Latin hip-hop, streets and suites (Fat Joe's words, not ours). An "unprecedented event": three artists you've most likely never heard of before performing together. "Go, Latino!" And here we go. Do you like tone-deaf shouting? Then you're going to love the first artist in this medley. The second artist (if there were any indication who these performers are, trust us -- we'd be telling you their names) does a much better job of performing live. Everybody gets about thirty seconds, except for Daddy Yankee, who has a song you've heard on the radio before, and therefore gets more stage time (forty seconds!). "Gasolina" ensues. The nominees for Best Hip-Hop: Missy Elliot, "Lose Control"; Common, "Go"; Kanye West, "Jesus Walks"; Snoop Dogg, "Drop It Like It's Hot"; and Nas, "Bridging the Gap." Fat Joe says he feels safe tonight with all the police protection courtesy of G-Unit. Missy wins. Ten minutes later, she accepts her award. Big ups to: MTV, God, Violator, Atlantic...oh, it's the same list as before. Cut and Paste. Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Usher, Kanye -- she loves y'all. If you listen right here, you can hear someone shout, "Fuck you!"

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

Mondo Extra
2005 MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Anything Can't Happen

Djb: "But I have a math test tomorrow!"
Pamie: "Recap, maggot!"
Djb: "You call your friends and tell them you can't go out tonight!"
Pamie: On second thought, I don't want to be Made.

Johnny Knoxville and Common take the microphone. They both raise their arms in praise acceptance. Patter, patter, patter. Knoxville makes Common freestyle about Miami. Common gives a shout-out to Hustle and Flow, and judging from the audience response, it's another film they didn't pay to see. Johnny gives a shout-out to the meth in his pocket. The nominees for the MTV2 award: Akon, "Locked Up"; The Bravery "An Honest Mistake"; Daddy Yankee, "Gasolina"; My Chemical Romance, "Helena"; and Mike Jones, "Still Tippin." Houston in the hizzouse! Oh, and Fall Out Boy, "Sugar We're Goin' Down." M2 does six, bitches!

Djb: What is that? With all the "featuring"s in the name of the song? Is that a math problem?
Stee: "If F equals Slim Thugs divided by Fat Joe."

Fall Out Boy wins, and they look like a parody of a rock band. Ties and hats and awkward-fitting jackets. Weird hair and unfortunate choices in ensembles. The thankings begin and then end. They tell My Chemical Romance they're the best band on earth and that they should have won, and since this award was voted on by the fans, this is the most important award of the night. Um, have you guys not heard of the Fashion Contest? Don't think too highly of yourselves, boys. See you on Where Are They Now?

Pamie: Every year the M2 award goes to the biggest-looking tools.
Stee: The biggest-looking tools? "Hey, monkey wrench. You are a rather large tool. You win!"
Pamie: They always have stupid-ass hair. Ill-fitting clothes. Dumb makeup. And we've never heard of them.
Stee: They look like guys from my typing class in my high school.
Pamie: That's exactly who they look like. Do you think the guy on the left will look back and regret his choices in life?
Djb: I hate his rope belt.
Pamie: It's all wrong. His pants are so high up. Tucked into his boobs.

Speaking of boobs: Fat Joe. He introduces some faces of Reggaetone -- Latinos, Latin hip-hop, streets and suites (Fat Joe's words, not ours). An "unprecedented event": three artists you've most likely never heard of before performing together. "Go, Latino!" And here we go. Do you like tone-deaf shouting? Then you're going to love the first artist in this medley. The second artist (if there were any indication who these performers are, trust us -- we'd be telling you their names) does a much better job of performing live. Everybody gets about thirty seconds, except for Daddy Yankee, who has a song you've heard on the radio before, and therefore gets more stage time (forty seconds!). "Gasolina" ensues. The nominees for Best Hip-Hop: Missy Elliot, "Lose Control"; Common, "Go"; Kanye West, "Jesus Walks"; Snoop Dogg, "Drop It Like It's Hot"; and Nas, "Bridging the Gap." Fat Joe says he feels safe tonight with all the police protection courtesy of G-Unit. Missy wins. Ten minutes later, she accepts her award. Big ups to: MTV, God, Violator, Atlantic...oh, it's the same list as before. Cut and Paste. Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Usher, Kanye -- she loves y'all. If you listen right here, you can hear someone shout, "Fuck you!"

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP