Mondo Extra
2005 MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Anything Can't Happen

Djb: All that shirt should be nominated for is Best Cut-Up Fest.
Stee: Best Violation of a seven-dollar Hot Topic shirt.

Alicia Keys and John Legend ascend some stairs, taking their sweet ass time to get to a microphone. How fucking hot is it in Miami that everybody moves like lizards? They introduce Kanye West and Jamie Foxx, who do a little "Gold Digger." On "We Want Pre-Nup!," money flies through the air. Jamie Foxx unbuttons his shirt. Half-naked girls take the stage to strut. Jamie Foxx forgets to put the microphone in front of his face sometimes when we hear his singing.

Stee: Maybe he'll sing some Ray Charles, once a-fucking-gain.
Djb: Maybe he'll do something from Stealth.
Stee: I think music is broken.
Pamie: "Jesus Walks"!
Stee: Pam, this isn't "Jesus Walks."
Pamie: Oh, good, Then this is the new song I like.
Stee: You know what Kanye West likes most of all. Walking. Walking while rapping.
Pamie: Look at me. I'm chair dancing.
Stee: Wow. She really is.
Djb: I find your energy threatening.
Pamie: I may have to buy this album.
Stee: Man, Pam. Why don't you lay off the Coppola?
Djb: Pam loves Krumping.
Stee: I think she's actually Clowning, Dan.

Snoop says, "A lot of people think O.G.s don't like to laugh. And that ain't true." True dat, Snoop. True dat. He introduces Dane Cook. Never before has a comic bombed so awkwardly on MTV's stage. Miami hates Dane Cook. Hates him so much, they don't even have reaction shots to cut away to.

Stee: It's true. A lot of people think O.G.'s don't like to laugh.
Djb: This is a flawed premise.
Pamie: It doesn't stand for "Official Giggler."
Djb: You gotta get certified in that shit.
Stee: Wow. Dane Cook just died hard and Snoop is still calling him "Nephew." That's very generous of him.
[Djb leaves.]
Pamie: All right. Pussy. Dan pusses out at hour two. Best Leavefest: Djb!

Snoop eventually saves Dane by announcing the nominees for Best New Artist: The Killers, "Mr. Brightside"; The Game, "Dreams"; John Legend, "Ordinary People"; Ciara, "1, 2 Step"; and My Chemical Romance, "Helena." The Killers win. Take that, My Chemical Romance. Billy Corgan is dancing a jig in his living room right now. The Killers say they made history accepting an award from Snoop. They thank some people. You don't know them. Don't worry about it. But man, LA Reid has made some mad cash off the artists winning awards tonight.

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
2005 MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Anything Can't Happen

Djb: All that shirt should be nominated for is Best Cut-Up Fest.
Stee: Best Violation of a seven-dollar Hot Topic shirt.

Alicia Keys and John Legend ascend some stairs, taking their sweet ass time to get to a microphone. How fucking hot is it in Miami that everybody moves like lizards? They introduce Kanye West and Jamie Foxx, who do a little "Gold Digger." On "We Want Pre-Nup!," money flies through the air. Jamie Foxx unbuttons his shirt. Half-naked girls take the stage to strut. Jamie Foxx forgets to put the microphone in front of his face sometimes when we hear his singing.

Stee: Maybe he'll sing some Ray Charles, once a-fucking-gain.
Djb: Maybe he'll do something from Stealth.
Stee: I think music is broken.
Pamie: "Jesus Walks"!
Stee: Pam, this isn't "Jesus Walks."
Pamie: Oh, good, Then this is the new song I like.
Stee: You know what Kanye West likes most of all. Walking. Walking while rapping.
Pamie: Look at me. I'm chair dancing.
Stee: Wow. She really is.
Djb: I find your energy threatening.
Pamie: I may have to buy this album.
Stee: Man, Pam. Why don't you lay off the Coppola?
Djb: Pam loves Krumping.
Stee: I think she's actually Clowning, Dan.

Snoop says, "A lot of people think O.G.s don't like to laugh. And that ain't true." True dat, Snoop. True dat. He introduces Dane Cook. Never before has a comic bombed so awkwardly on MTV's stage. Miami hates Dane Cook. Hates him so much, they don't even have reaction shots to cut away to.

Stee: It's true. A lot of people think O.G.'s don't like to laugh.
Djb: This is a flawed premise.
Pamie: It doesn't stand for "Official Giggler."
Djb: You gotta get certified in that shit.
Stee: Wow. Dane Cook just died hard and Snoop is still calling him "Nephew." That's very generous of him.
[Djb leaves.]
Pamie: All right. Pussy. Dan pusses out at hour two. Best Leavefest: Djb!

Snoop eventually saves Dane by announcing the nominees for Best New Artist: The Killers, "Mr. Brightside"; The Game, "Dreams"; John Legend, "Ordinary People"; Ciara, "1, 2 Step"; and My Chemical Romance, "Helena." The Killers win. Take that, My Chemical Romance. Billy Corgan is dancing a jig in his living room right now. The Killers say they made history accepting an award from Snoop. They thank some people. You don't know them. Don't worry about it. But man, LA Reid has made some mad cash off the artists winning awards tonight.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29Next

Mondo Extra

Comments

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