Mondo Extra
2005 MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Anything Can't Happen

Pamie: How have Beavis and Butthead not aged?
Djb: Not a single person in the audience has any idea who this is.
Pamie: Beavis looks like Jon Heder from Napoleon Dynamite.
Stee: I think he looks like Michael Rapaport. What happened to that woman from a few years ago -- Marcy Gray?
Pamie: Macy Gray.
Stee: Yeah. Remember when she was on crack?
Djb: She wrote the big thing about "My album drops..." on the back of her coat. And then she made 9/11 happen.
Stee: And now she's gone.
Djb: [close to mic] I'm twenty-five, by the way.
Stee: Yeah, on Mars.
Djb: On the West Coast. Because of the time difference.
Pamie: That joke: running out of legs.
Stee: He's said that before?
Pamie: Oh, he says it all the time.
Djb: I say it a lot. I can't stand the sound of my own voice anymore.
Stee: Oh, shit. Pamie, calling fools out. Only twenty minutes into the show.
Djb: Took me to school.
Stee: Callin' fools out!
Djb: I know! I was just trying to get my joke on the internet.

Missy and Ciara take the stage. Ciara asks the crowd if they're in the mood to go "around the world"? Ciara fucks up her line so bad that it's impossible to know what she was supposed to say. Ludacris and someone named Bobby Valentino launch into "Pimpin' All Over the World" song. There is much yelling and pointing, pacing the stage. They're all in sunglasses, and Luda's wearing a big hat. But here's something new: belts. They're all the rage, rap artists! Instead of your pants falling to your ankles, Nelly-style, Luda's all about the belt. Why? It's easier to see when you're grabbing your penis if your pants are dangling from it. World Beat moment: dancing and drums and whistles and someone is literally screaming at the top of his lungs. Steel drums and scantily-clad dancing girls mesh the worst of all cultures into an embarrassing moment for Puerto Rico, Brazil, Africa, Miami, television, music, ears, eyes, humanity, and nausea.

Stee: What is this, Carnivale?
Djb: I always say music needs more whistles.
Stee: And steel drums.
Pamie: Whistles and steel drums do not belong in music.
Stee: Except in Jay-Z songs.
Pamie: "Big Pimpin'."
Stee: Big pimping. Selling cheese.

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Mondo Extra

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Mondo Extra
2005 MTV Video Music Awards

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Anything Can't Happen

Djb: [close to mic] I'm twenty-five, by the way.
Stee: Yeah, on Mars.
Djb: On the West Coast. Because of the time difference.
Pamie: That joke: running out of legs.
Stee: He's said that before?
Pamie: Oh, he says it all the time.
Djb: I say it a lot. I can't stand the sound of my own voice anymore.
Stee: Oh, shit. Pamie, calling fools out. Only twenty minutes into the show.
Djb: Took me to school.
Stee: Callin' fools out!
Djb: I know! I was just trying to get my joke on the internet.

Missy and Ciara take the stage. Ciara asks the crowd if they're in the mood to go "around the world"? Ciara fucks up her line so bad that it's impossible to know what she was supposed to say. Ludacris and someone named Bobby Valentino launch into "Pimpin' All Over the World" song. There is much yelling and pointing, pacing the stage. They're all in sunglasses, and Luda's wearing a big hat. But here's something new: belts. They're all the rage, rap artists! Instead of your pants falling to your ankles, Nelly-style, Luda's all about the belt. Why? It's easier to see when you're grabbing your penis if your pants are dangling from it. World Beat moment: dancing and drums and whistles and someone is literally screaming at the top of his lungs. Steel drums and scantily-clad dancing girls mesh the worst of all cultures into an embarrassing moment for Puerto Rico, Brazil, Africa, Miami, television, music, ears, eyes, humanity, and nausea.

Stee: What is this, Carnivale?
Djb: I always say music needs more whistles.
Stee: And steel drums.
Pamie: Whistles and steel drums do not belong in music.
Stee: Except in Jay-Z songs.
Pamie: "Big Pimpin'."
Stee: Big pimping. Selling cheese.
Djb: Selling cheese?
Stee: Wait, "Making cheese"?
Djb: Yes, Stee. Jay-Z is a notorious artisan cheesemaker.
Pamie: What is happening here?
Stee: I wore those socks when I played youth soccer.
Djb: And I wore that outfit when I worked at Blockbuster.
Stee: Dan, can I rent something else?
Pamie: Oh, no. They're doing another of those medleys.
Djb: Are you allowed to "Boo-boop" through the songs?
TiVo: [Boo-boop]
Pamie: Our first "Boo-boop" at Minute 20Nice.

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Mondo Extra

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