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2006-2007 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

Episode Report Card
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2006-2007 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

The Accent Of Dubious Origin Award
To Tim Gunn. It's clipped. It's well-enunciated. It's...continental? Who knows? Who cares! The man could tuck me in every night by reading tractor repair manuals in German and I'd be happy. And know how to repair tractors. -- LuluBates

The Acting Without Using Your Face Award
Stella Adler couldn't do it. Marlon Brando tried and failed. But like cream on a bottle of non-homogenized milk, Elizabeth Mitchell has risen to the top of her craft. She's like the ninja of Method acting. Seriously, the woman moved nary a facial muscle during her entire season on Lost. Brava! -- Lulu Bates

The Annual "Pissed In Brenda Hampton's Coffee" Award
This award, presented to whomever must have incurred the worst of Brenda Hampton's wrath based on his or her character's treatment during this season of 7th Heaven, has several worthy recipients: Greg Berlanti, whose show was cancelled while 7th Heaven was allowed to live on for yet another craptacular season; homeless teenagers, who were portrayed as obnoxious pot-smoking weirdos; Jessica Biel, for the Gear thing; teachers across America, portrayed as creepy stalkers who leave parents with no choice but to pull their kids out of school; and Aaron Spelling, who died. But out of all of these candidates, there was one person who saw her empire of terrible family-friendly shlock come to an end after eleven seasons of employment she was in no way talented enough to have in the first place. The winner of the Annual "Pissed In Brenda Hampton's Coffee" Award is...Brenda Hampton. -- Sara M

Best Attempt To Upstage The Action And Characters With A Godawful Southern Accent
You can run, but you cannot hide, from the monstrosity that is Kyra Sedgwick's glaringly horrific Southern accent on TBS's The Closer. It meanders, it waffles, it chews on scenery, it disappears on occasion...only to be replaced by an even WORSE Southern accent, if that's even possible. Brenda Lee Johnson says she hails from Atlanta, but it would appear that at some point, she was raised, possibly by wolves, somewhere between Pensacola, Florida and a pig patch deep within the Appalachian mountains. She may or may not have done time in an Arkansas prison or done an internship on an Indian reservation near Tornado Alley because WHAT THE FUCK? This accent tries its damnedest to take center stage during every episode of this show, but fortunately, the characters and the stories are so strong and compelling that we're not so easily distracted. Try all you want, Hideous Southern Hybrid Acksent, you're not going to make us pay attention to you. Unless you start speaking in tongues. Then all bets are off. -- Erin

Best Choice To Replace Paula Abdul After Her Inevitable "Glug-Glug, Vroom-Vroom, Thump-Thump" Moment Award

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

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Mondo Extra
2006-2007 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
2006-2007 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

The Accent Of Dubious Origin Award
To Tim Gunn. It's clipped. It's well-enunciated. It's...continental? Who knows? Who cares! The man could tuck me in every night by reading tractor repair manuals in German and I'd be happy. And know how to repair tractors. -- LuluBates

The Acting Without Using Your Face Award
Stella Adler couldn't do it. Marlon Brando tried and failed. But like cream on a bottle of non-homogenized milk, Elizabeth Mitchell has risen to the top of her craft. She's like the ninja of Method acting. Seriously, the woman moved nary a facial muscle during her entire season on Lost. Brava! -- Lulu Bates

The Annual "Pissed In Brenda Hampton's Coffee" Award
This award, presented to whomever must have incurred the worst of Brenda Hampton's wrath based on his or her character's treatment during this season of 7th Heaven, has several worthy recipients: Greg Berlanti, whose show was cancelled while 7th Heaven was allowed to live on for yet another craptacular season; homeless teenagers, who were portrayed as obnoxious pot-smoking weirdos; Jessica Biel, for the Gear thing; teachers across America, portrayed as creepy stalkers who leave parents with no choice but to pull their kids out of school; and Aaron Spelling, who died. But out of all of these candidates, there was one person who saw her empire of terrible family-friendly shlock come to an end after eleven seasons of employment she was in no way talented enough to have in the first place. The winner of the Annual "Pissed In Brenda Hampton's Coffee" Award is...Brenda Hampton. -- Sara M

Best Attempt To Upstage The Action And Characters With A Godawful Southern Accent
You can run, but you cannot hide, from the monstrosity that is Kyra Sedgwick's glaringly horrific Southern accent on TBS's The Closer. It meanders, it waffles, it chews on scenery, it disappears on occasion...only to be replaced by an even WORSE Southern accent, if that's even possible. Brenda Lee Johnson says she hails from Atlanta, but it would appear that at some point, she was raised, possibly by wolves, somewhere between Pensacola, Florida and a pig patch deep within the Appalachian mountains. She may or may not have done time in an Arkansas prison or done an internship on an Indian reservation near Tornado Alley because WHAT THE FUCK? This accent tries its damnedest to take center stage during every episode of this show, but fortunately, the characters and the stories are so strong and compelling that we're not so easily distracted. Try all you want, Hideous Southern Hybrid Acksent, you're not going to make us pay attention to you. Unless you start speaking in tongues. Then all bets are off. -- Erin

Best Choice To Replace Paula Abdul After Her Inevitable "Glug-Glug, Vroom-Vroom, Thump-Thump" Moment Award

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Mondo Extra

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