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2006-2007 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

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2006-2007 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

The Better Business Bureau Is Taking A Nap Award
What would the world of "celebrity" "small businesses" be like without The Oxygen Network? Next time you're in California, be sure to take a gander at the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency before you spend the night at Cheateau LaRue, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott's bed and breakfast. With any luck, by the time of your visit The Bad Girls Club Nail Salon and Free Clinic will also be open for business. -- Potes

Biggest Suspension Of Disbelief
When she plays Betty Suarez on Ugly Betty, they can't quite make her really ugly. Unattractive, sure, with the hair, and the eyebrows, and the braces and glasses. We can even grant that the kind of people who work at a women's magazine would think her size 8 ass was "fat." But if we're supposed to think she has terrible fashion sense, maybe they should quit putting her in $400 Anna Sui dresses from Anthropologie. We're on to you, Pat Field! -- Wing Chun

The Clucking Hens Are Back In Vogue Award
Okay, for reals. When was the last time you even thought about, much less took the time to enjoy, The View? And then, out of nowhere, Star Jones figured that she counted as a Hot Topic when Barbara Walters kicked her bypassed ass to the curb, and Rosie O'Donnell came on board, and there was the "ching chong" thing and the whole business with Donald Trump, and then Danny DeVito drank too much limoncello, and suddenly it seemed like The View returned to a state of relevance and ubiquity it hadn't seen since...ever. And just when you thought things were simmering down, Rosie O'Donnell fully transitioned from playing a mentally disabled woman in a TV movie to feuding with a mentally deficient woman on TV as she and Elisabeth Hasselbeck had it out in a very public battle of the brains. Now that Rosie's gone, can we officially stop caring again? -- Potes

The Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing Memorial Award
What does every rich person need? An enabling medical doctor. And that's why Dr. Leo Spaceman, physician to 30 Rock's Tracy Jordan and Jack Donaghy, is this year's recipient of an award given to MDs who remind us that medicine isn't an exact science, but a frustrating venture that must continue even after the powerful bread lobby shuts down your groundbreaking studies. Now, who wants some reds and purples? -- Sobell

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Mondo Extra
2006-2007 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
2006-2007 Tubey Awards: Tubey Awards of Questionable Cachet

Okay, for reals. When was the last time you even thought about, much less took the time to enjoy, The View? And then, out of nowhere, Star Jones figured that she counted as a Hot Topic when Barbara Walters kicked her bypassed ass to the curb, and Rosie O'Donnell came on board, and there was the "ching chong" thing and the whole business with Donald Trump, and then Danny DeVito drank too much limoncello, and suddenly it seemed like The View returned to a state of relevance and ubiquity it hadn't seen since...ever. And just when you thought things were simmering down, Rosie O'Donnell fully transitioned from playing a mentally disabled woman in a TV movie to feuding with a mentally deficient woman on TV as she and Elisabeth Hasselbeck had it out in a very public battle of the brains. Now that Rosie's gone, can we officially stop caring again? -- Potes

The Dr. Nikolas Van Helsing Memorial Award
What does every rich person need? An enabling medical doctor. And that's why Dr. Leo Spaceman, physician to 30 Rock's Tracy Jordan and Jack Donaghy, is this year's recipient of an award given to MDs who remind us that medicine isn't an exact science, but a frustrating venture that must continue even after the powerful bread lobby shuts down your groundbreaking studies. Now, who wants some reds and purples? -- Sobell

The Dr. Winston O'Boogie Award For Pseudonymous Excellence
If you were an aspiring model who was challenged to come up with a stage name for yourself, one that was destined to make you stand out and be noticed, what would you choose? If you were as brilliant as America's Next Top Model Season 8 contestant Dionne, you would most certainly choose "Wholahay." -- Potes

The Flip-Flop Award
To the new writers on the Gilmore Girls for finally marrying off Lorelai and Christopher and then ten episodes later divorcing them, for no obvious reason other than that the writers plumb changed their minds. Did they succumb to fan pressure? A desire to end the show on a Luke-and-Lorelai note of mystery? Either way, writers: Way to stick to your guns! -- LuluBates

The Greatness In Spite Of Yourself Award
When we heard that Mark Burnett was splitting up the Survivor tribes based on race, we seriously wondered if the dude was high. No -- we assumed the guy was high. That's why it was so surprising when the appealing cast overcame all the nonsense and put on a great season. Just a memo for future reference: it's possible to increase minority representation on your show, which was the only good thing to come out of the debacle-y part of the debacle, without resorting to race wars. We're just saying. -- Miss Alli

The His Eyes Are Always Bigger Than His Stomach Award

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