10:47: Liza Minelli! Her shtick is so over-the-top at this point that it's hard for me to believe she's a real person and not, like, a Liza Minelli impersonator. Wouldn't it be so awesome if they had her presenting this award with a Liza Minelli impersonator? The award, by the way, is for Leading Actor in a Musical. Nominee Lin-Manuel Miranda looks like he's about to crap his pants when they cut to him -- maybe he hasn't got another rap prepared? Stew shows how seriously he's taking all this by letting the camera catch him wearing a goofy mask when his name is called. And hey, Tom Wopat! Did you know Luke Duke has become a solid Broadway musical leading man? Not an award-winning one, though; this Tony goes to Paolo Szot for South Pacific, because if it didn't have a mysterious, dark, foreign-born leading man, it wouldn't be South Pacific.
10:50: David Hyde Pierce, who won a Tony for Curtains last year, enters and says, "...and I'd like to thank Rob Ashford, who gave me the greatest dance on Broadway. ...Sorry, that was unfinished business from last year." Ha! He's presenting the Leading Actress in a Musical award, and the first nominee is Kerry Butler, who has her fingers crossed and is making an exaggerated "I really hope it's me!" face for the camera. This is, of course, a joke; she's awesome, but she knows she didn't win. In fact, she better hope she didn't win, because if she beat Patti LuPone, she'd have to watch her back for the rest of the night, and possibly for the rest of her life. But Patti wins! She came dressed for the part, in a gown with a long train -- but, being Patti, she looks a bit like a football player as she stomps across the stage, fighting the dress the whole way. She's also armed with an off-the-cuff-but-really-not, self-deprecating-but-really-not acceptance speech. I love that she thanks the house staff, her dressers, etc., but then she tries to fight the orchestra when they start to play her off, shouting, "Shut up, it's been 29 years!" The victim act is hardly classy, especially since she's been talking for some time already -- and the implication that she's been unfairly ignored all these years would be much more persuasive if she weren't the one making it. So this is all vintage Patti, in other words.
10:55: Okay, this computer-generated chorus line of Whoopis, with Mario Lopez at the front, is the freakiest thing I've seen all night. Make it stop make it stop make it stop!!!