MONDO EXTRAS

A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Family First

Next: Dr. Phil spies on some kids to prove to their parents what assholes they are. They put 13 children aged 4-6 in a room with some dangerous toys, a one-way mirror, and a very gay production assistant, to see how well their parents know them. This is going to be awful, I can already tell. Let's see how well Bailey's mom Deanna knows him. Bailey is six and a half, he's super-smart, very loving, not vindictive, doesn't lash out, very social. "I'd be surprised if he got in a fight." Gleefully, Phil brings her in, and you know what happens next. Video blender to refute each and every thing she just said, one by one: Bailey pushes a kid down and starts a slap fight the second he gets in the room. He hurls a marble at a kid and then chokes him, throwing him to the floor to cry and gasp. Then another kid gets punched, then he drops onto a child with the People's Knee, throws a block at another child (causing the gay producer guy to beg them not to throw blocks), jumps up and rips the basketball net to pieces, slaps somebody else and pins a kid to the floor, then throws a plastic stool in someone's face. I'm sure he was a whirlwind of abuse and destruction the whole time, but I'm guessing he took a couple of breaks. That's not even the issue, because the thing is that he's laughing hilariously during all of that and it's creepy as hell.

Also creepy: she thinks it's fucking hilarious. Like, she knows she's supposed to be horrified at her failure and lack of real knowledge about her kid, but really, she doesn't care at all. She acts like it's just terrible and she clucks and shakes her head but her eyes are like, that's my boy. It's fucking chilling. She tells Dr. Phil, as if this is an excuse, that she and her worthless husband would never allow Bailey to be in a situation like that (like what, like with other people? In a room with other people?) without being there to watch him closely. Don't you people have jobs? Dr. Phil is like, get real, because that's what life is. Unsupervised. He then tells her -- and I am not exaggerating -- that A) Bailey is going to become a criminal, B) Bailey's next step after throwing blocks at people is running them down in a car, and C) it's all Deanna's fault. And God save us but he's right about all of it. Well, there's a slippery logic slope around point B, but other than that...yeah. There's more unending footage of Bailey beating the shit out of everyone in the room and scaring the hell out of Gay Producer Dude. Intercut with this, which is admittedly awesome, there are some still shots of Bailey looking totally nuts. Other little boys weeping, going fetal, and screaming, as Bailey looks creepily on with a soulless grin at all the tears and blood. I think Dr. Phil figures out right now that Deanna thinks this is pretty much complete comedy, because he basically just tells the lady to leave.

Meet Breya. Breya is full of life; she has a lot of energy, according to her mom. She is fun, and likes to steal the show. She's adorable (true). But...on the hidden camera, when gay producer tells everyone to pick a partner to work on puzzles, Breya goes all Rain Man and ignores that shit. The other kids play and she just stares at them, or plays by herself. There's a funny bit where Dr. Phil talks about how given "the chaos in the room" (while we watch footage of Bailey attempting to do murders all over the place), it's maybe a good thing that she can play creatively on her own and just stay out of it.

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A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Family First

Next: Dr. Phil spies on some kids to prove to their parents what assholes they are. They put 13 children aged 4-6 in a room with some dangerous toys, a one-way mirror, and a very gay production assistant, to see how well their parents know them. This is going to be awful, I can already tell. Let's see how well Bailey's mom Deanna knows him. Bailey is six and a half, he's super-smart, very loving, not vindictive, doesn't lash out, very social. "I'd be surprised if he got in a fight." Gleefully, Phil brings her in, and you know what happens next. Video blender to refute each and every thing she just said, one by one: Bailey pushes a kid down and starts a slap fight the second he gets in the room. He hurls a marble at a kid and then chokes him, throwing him to the floor to cry and gasp. Then another kid gets punched, then he drops onto a child with the People's Knee, throws a block at another child (causing the gay producer guy to beg them not to throw blocks), jumps up and rips the basketball net to pieces, slaps somebody else and pins a kid to the floor, then throws a plastic stool in someone's face. I'm sure he was a whirlwind of abuse and destruction the whole time, but I'm guessing he took a couple of breaks. That's not even the issue, because the thing is that he's laughing hilariously during all of that and it's creepy as hell.

Also creepy: she thinks it's fucking hilarious. Like, she knows she's supposed to be horrified at her failure and lack of real knowledge about her kid, but really, she doesn't care at all. She acts like it's just terrible and she clucks and shakes her head but her eyes are like, that's my boy. It's fucking chilling. She tells Dr. Phil, as if this is an excuse, that she and her worthless husband would never allow Bailey to be in a situation like that (like what, like with other people? In a room with other people?) without being there to watch him closely. Don't you people have jobs? Dr. Phil is like, get real, because that's what life is. Unsupervised. He then tells her -- and I am not exaggerating -- that A) Bailey is going to become a criminal, B) Bailey's next step after throwing blocks at people is running them down in a car, and C) it's all Deanna's fault. And God save us but he's right about all of it. Well, there's a slippery logic slope around point B, but other than that...yeah. There's more unending footage of Bailey beating the shit out of everyone in the room and scaring the hell out of Gay Producer Dude. Intercut with this, which is admittedly awesome, there are some still shots of Bailey looking totally nuts. Other little boys weeping, going fetal, and screaming, as Bailey looks creepily on with a soulless grin at all the tears and blood. I think Dr. Phil figures out right now that Deanna thinks this is pretty much complete comedy, because he basically just tells the lady to leave.

Meet Breya. Breya is full of life; she has a lot of energy, according to her mom. She is fun, and likes to steal the show. She's adorable (true). But...on the hidden camera, when gay producer tells everyone to pick a partner to work on puzzles, Breya goes all Rain Man and ignores that shit. The other kids play and she just stares at them, or plays by herself. There's a funny bit where Dr. Phil talks about how given "the chaos in the room" (while we watch footage of Bailey attempting to do murders all over the place), it's maybe a good thing that she can play creatively on her own and just stay out of it.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27Next

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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