MONDO EXTRAS

A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Family First

Really, Phil and Breya's mom both know that's not the case, because she's basically catatonic in a play situation. Phil says that Mom doesn't know her daughter for shit -- the child is very excited and fun, but only when Mom is around, because she gets the strength from Mom, but otherwise she lacks confidence. There's an awesome shot of Breya putting together what looks like a very detailed dinosaur drama, with like twenty dinosaurs standing around in a loose group, talking and forming lines. Cool kid. Dr. Phil makes the very good point that the family has just moved, and this might be an issue that she's getting shy. Phil tells her to find out who is going to be in her class, so that they can make friends before school starts. Good idea. Mom's glad to have a plan. Breya's happy to have dinosaur friends.

Next up: "Could you be raising a criminal? It's more predictable than you might think." Tiny commercial for what's going to happen and how this couple's kid -- who I think I've seen on TV before -- is more psychotic than...Jeffrey Dahmer! Oh no! So I guess it's time to play "catch the audience on the hour." On the up side, that means we're half done.

So there are 14 traits of a serial killer, according to Dr. Phil, and I already got a bunch of grief over how that's incorrect depending on who's talking, but I'm not really interested in that debate because the point of scientists and especially in the social sciences is to divide things up into smaller and smaller bits and categories and then stage a coup and go all gestalt and simplify again so that somebody else can divide up your categories and write their own dissertation about it. Like Jung's all, "I'll see your introversion/extraversion and raise you a thinking/feeling/sensation/intuition, Freud," and then Myers and Briggs are all, "Okay, but we need more letters!" and then the Enneagram guy is all, "Not precise enough! Draw this diagram, it takes twenty minutes!" and then somebody is like, "No, this is hopeless. Everybody on this side of the room, you're from Mars, and all the ladies, you're from Venus" and the whole damn thing starts all over again. So for right now, there are 14, but you have to BUY THE BOOK because we're only going to hear about nine of them anyway.

Dr. Phil would like us to "Meet parents terrified of their own son," which sounds super-fun, in a video blender of little Eric, who enjoys bashing his head against things, screaming, bashing people, lying, throwing things, bashing his head against people, scaring his siblings so they hide from him and sometimes sleep with their parents, smearing shit on the wall -- you know, the usual. Cut to the uber-soundbite of freaky little Eric mumbling, "I don't like hurting them, I just can't...help it," with a super-creepy grin. Have you ever seen When A Stranger Calls? That's way better than this. Dad's totally in denial, says Mom. Eric stole a knife once, and now she can't so much as cut a tomato in peace without thinking he's going to take it and stab her with it or something. He likes fire and he started a fire in their old house. Dad says it is a normal boy thing to do this stuff. It's not, y'all. Mom says that there is a demon in him. Probably not, y'all. She says that his eyes are blue, but when he turns evil, she sees a demonic fire in them. WHAT? Yeah, I hope she talks about how he's possessed in front of him all the time. That shouldn't fuck him up or anything.

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A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Family First

Really, Phil and Breya's mom both know that's not the case, because she's basically catatonic in a play situation. Phil says that Mom doesn't know her daughter for shit -- the child is very excited and fun, but only when Mom is around, because she gets the strength from Mom, but otherwise she lacks confidence. There's an awesome shot of Breya putting together what looks like a very detailed dinosaur drama, with like twenty dinosaurs standing around in a loose group, talking and forming lines. Cool kid. Dr. Phil makes the very good point that the family has just moved, and this might be an issue that she's getting shy. Phil tells her to find out who is going to be in her class, so that they can make friends before school starts. Good idea. Mom's glad to have a plan. Breya's happy to have dinosaur friends.

Next up: "Could you be raising a criminal? It's more predictable than you might think." Tiny commercial for what's going to happen and how this couple's kid -- who I think I've seen on TV before -- is more psychotic than...Jeffrey Dahmer! Oh no! So I guess it's time to play "catch the audience on the hour." On the up side, that means we're half done.

So there are 14 traits of a serial killer, according to Dr. Phil, and I already got a bunch of grief over how that's incorrect depending on who's talking, but I'm not really interested in that debate because the point of scientists and especially in the social sciences is to divide things up into smaller and smaller bits and categories and then stage a coup and go all gestalt and simplify again so that somebody else can divide up your categories and write their own dissertation about it. Like Jung's all, "I'll see your introversion/extraversion and raise you a thinking/feeling/sensation/intuition, Freud," and then Myers and Briggs are all, "Okay, but we need more letters!" and then the Enneagram guy is all, "Not precise enough! Draw this diagram, it takes twenty minutes!" and then somebody is like, "No, this is hopeless. Everybody on this side of the room, you're from Mars, and all the ladies, you're from Venus" and the whole damn thing starts all over again. So for right now, there are 14, but you have to BUY THE BOOK because we're only going to hear about nine of them anyway.

Dr. Phil would like us to "Meet parents terrified of their own son," which sounds super-fun, in a video blender of little Eric, who enjoys bashing his head against things, screaming, bashing people, lying, throwing things, bashing his head against people, scaring his siblings so they hide from him and sometimes sleep with their parents, smearing shit on the wall -- you know, the usual. Cut to the uber-soundbite of freaky little Eric mumbling, "I don't like hurting them, I just can't...help it," with a super-creepy grin. Have you ever seen When A Stranger Calls? That's way better than this. Dad's totally in denial, says Mom. Eric stole a knife once, and now she can't so much as cut a tomato in peace without thinking he's going to take it and stab her with it or something. He likes fire and he started a fire in their old house. Dad says it is a normal boy thing to do this stuff. It's not, y'all. Mom says that there is a demon in him. Probably not, y'all. She says that his eyes are blue, but when he turns evil, she sees a demonic fire in them. WHAT? Yeah, I hope she talks about how he's possessed in front of him all the time. That shouldn't fuck him up or anything.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27Next

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