MONDO EXTRAS

A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Family First

Back to Daddy H saying he's "tried to give some kind of punishment," Phil's italics this time, and I honestly think for a second -- may it scar my mall factor forever -- that I know what he's going to say, "There is no fucking try, only do," but Dr. Phil keeps his mall factor intact by basically saying this but not quoting Yoda directly. "Who's running this show?" asks Dr. Phil, and that's kind of a dumb question, because it's the martyrdom of Mr. Horvath, who not only gets to have kids (and a nation of TV watchers) that don't respect him, but a wife that railroads him. That's who's running this show: Saint Dad. And don't pretend you don't know that, Phil. Clips from what we just saw, and all of them are upsetting and we've already discussed them, but Phil catches on the next thing Mr. H said, about "washing his hands of his son," and he yells all disagreeably, "That's not an option!" And I have to say: It is. And God, please let Mrs. H take that option too, so that these kids will live. I know plenty of men and women whose parents opted out of parenting, and it almost always works out when the kids start out as cool as these three kids.

Back to Mrs. H supine with the phone cord, screaming about how she only asked a "goddamned fucking question" and apparently the beeps are what's important here, to show what a bad lady she is, with her pottymouth. Whatever. Cursing like that is not a sign of poor parenting, it's a sign of poor breeding. And an inability to chill. ["And tenure at TWoP." -- Sars] Mrs. H tells us she may have inherited some of her father's worst traits, as the camera pans over a family picture of her as a teen and then goes CHUNG and focuses on her dad. And yeah, she looks like him, but he's a good-looking guy, and he has sideburns, but those aren't a bad trait per se, and besides, she didn't inherit those insofar as I can tell. Her father had a bad temper, she says. Cut to...oh Jeez. Her dad, who is just exactly like you think, all unapologetic and graying and stocky, like they probably call him "The Colonel" or something, saying basically that he's no bullshitter and yeah, sometimes he yells in the street. They talk about how he spanked his kids and she went to school with bruises and how she's never going to be like that. Except how she totally, utterly is.

Dad of Mrs. H says something about how she got "whacks" but "she got the message" and Phil's all, "Yeah, she got the message all right: she got the message of rejection, anger, bitterness, frustration, and the absence of the abilities to communicate her feelings in a constructive way. Good job." Which, I kind of like Dr. Phil, I think. Even though that sentence goes a little haywire about halfway through, I think it would be awesome to see him say that to her dad, in front of her. And maybe that's what this Dr. Phil thing is all about, after all. Watching terrible people get vindicated by Dr. Phil yelling at people who are even worse. I also would have said, "And she's forwarding that message to her kids," or something like that. Because apparently I work in FM radio.

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Comments

A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Family First

Back to Daddy H saying he's "tried to give some kind of punishment," Phil's italics this time, and I honestly think for a second -- may it scar my mall factor forever -- that I know what he's going to say, "There is no fucking try, only do," but Dr. Phil keeps his mall factor intact by basically saying this but not quoting Yoda directly. "Who's running this show?" asks Dr. Phil, and that's kind of a dumb question, because it's the martyrdom of Mr. Horvath, who not only gets to have kids (and a nation of TV watchers) that don't respect him, but a wife that railroads him. That's who's running this show: Saint Dad. And don't pretend you don't know that, Phil. Clips from what we just saw, and all of them are upsetting and we've already discussed them, but Phil catches on the next thing Mr. H said, about "washing his hands of his son," and he yells all disagreeably, "That's not an option!" And I have to say: It is. And God, please let Mrs. H take that option too, so that these kids will live. I know plenty of men and women whose parents opted out of parenting, and it almost always works out when the kids start out as cool as these three kids.

Back to Mrs. H supine with the phone cord, screaming about how she only asked a "goddamned fucking question" and apparently the beeps are what's important here, to show what a bad lady she is, with her pottymouth. Whatever. Cursing like that is not a sign of poor parenting, it's a sign of poor breeding. And an inability to chill. ["And tenure at TWoP." -- Sars] Mrs. H tells us she may have inherited some of her father's worst traits, as the camera pans over a family picture of her as a teen and then goes CHUNG and focuses on her dad. And yeah, she looks like him, but he's a good-looking guy, and he has sideburns, but those aren't a bad trait per se, and besides, she didn't inherit those insofar as I can tell. Her father had a bad temper, she says. Cut to...oh Jeez. Her dad, who is just exactly like you think, all unapologetic and graying and stocky, like they probably call him "The Colonel" or something, saying basically that he's no bullshitter and yeah, sometimes he yells in the street. They talk about how he spanked his kids and she went to school with bruises and how she's never going to be like that. Except how she totally, utterly is.

Dad of Mrs. H says something about how she got "whacks" but "she got the message" and Phil's all, "Yeah, she got the message all right: she got the message of rejection, anger, bitterness, frustration, and the absence of the abilities to communicate her feelings in a constructive way. Good job." Which, I kind of like Dr. Phil, I think. Even though that sentence goes a little haywire about halfway through, I think it would be awesome to see him say that to her dad, in front of her. And maybe that's what this Dr. Phil thing is all about, after all. Watching terrible people get vindicated by Dr. Phil yelling at people who are even worse. I also would have said, "And she's forwarding that message to her kids," or something like that. Because apparently I work in FM radio.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27Next

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