MONDO EXTRAS

A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Family First

Dr. Phil asks if Mrs. H will let this unlikely apology take place and not sabotage it in order to "get off" on the power trip of how ineffective her husband is, and she totally says, "If he had it in him to go apologize to my son, that would be..." and Dr. Phil cuts her dead because she's totally trying to kiss the ass of Good Cop and make her husband look bad. This is so balls-out terrible that Dr. Phil forgets Mr. H altogether in order to cut her to shreds. He tells her how awful she is for overriding him the few times he voices an opinion, telling everybody including Dr. Phil what their problems are, and contradicting Bad Cop right to his face. Also, Nicole had to call the cops about Mom's physical abuses of Dad. Yikes. He yells and it's ugly but she was begging for it. I can't imagine she thought she'd get away with such a blatant line of bullshit. She's a tattletale, which is unattractive in a child one tenth her age, and certainly horrible in a person who has seemingly gone to great lengths to ask for help from the intelligent man she's now trying to snow. I'm so sure, Mrs. Horvath. Smooth move.

Back to Nicole's sex life, apparently, because we see her at the cedar picnic table in a pink tank top, talking on her cell phone. Dr. Phil informs us that the biggest mistake [sic] she can make right now is: sex, drugs, alcohol, those sorts of things. Which, yeah, when I was in high school, that was really sort of all one big mistake, going by the name of June 12, 1994, but I don't think that's what Dr. Phil means. For such a particular person, he really plays fast and loose with the language. The Horvaths admit that they do not talk to Nicole about any of these issues. Video Nicole says the same thing, and also that she's been in a long-term sexual relationship before. The Horvaths chew their cud and are all, "Yeah, we figured, but thought it best not to talk about it." WHAT? Mr. H is all, "I felt I could tag along with my wife but she should take control of that subject." The sex, drugs, alcohol, and those sorts of things subject? Such is the power of Dr. Phil, that even his most bizarre linguistic tics are taken up by his helpees after ten minutes.

Phil pretends that this is not Mr. H's answer to everything, and starts yelling at Mr. H about how he has an obligation to involve himself in Nicole's dating life because she's "going to have sex with guys" and there's a silent God willing bubble above all three of their heads. He says that Mr. H has the advantage here because he is a guy (also questionable, really), and so is in a better position to counsel Nicole about their feelings and behavior. Because men and women are so very very different that they're like different countries, and Mr. Horvath has to be the diplomat from Guyville, even though really he exiled himself from there long ago. So then Dr. Phil...totally abandons all of this, and ignores the scary younger daughter altogether, and jumps to the hard sell: the Horvaths, due to their awesome horribleness, have qualified to be one of the first families to read Dr. Phil's NEW BOOK THAT IS COMING OUT, Familerica First, and this will do all the work that they have no interest in doing, and thus Dr. Phil will have saved another family.

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A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Family First

Dr. Phil asks if Mrs. H will let this unlikely apology take place and not sabotage it in order to "get off" on the power trip of how ineffective her husband is, and she totally says, "If he had it in him to go apologize to my son, that would be..." and Dr. Phil cuts her dead because she's totally trying to kiss the ass of Good Cop and make her husband look bad. This is so balls-out terrible that Dr. Phil forgets Mr. H altogether in order to cut her to shreds. He tells her how awful she is for overriding him the few times he voices an opinion, telling everybody including Dr. Phil what their problems are, and contradicting Bad Cop right to his face. Also, Nicole had to call the cops about Mom's physical abuses of Dad. Yikes. He yells and it's ugly but she was begging for it. I can't imagine she thought she'd get away with such a blatant line of bullshit. She's a tattletale, which is unattractive in a child one tenth her age, and certainly horrible in a person who has seemingly gone to great lengths to ask for help from the intelligent man she's now trying to snow. I'm so sure, Mrs. Horvath. Smooth move.

Back to Nicole's sex life, apparently, because we see her at the cedar picnic table in a pink tank top, talking on her cell phone. Dr. Phil informs us that the biggest mistake [sic] she can make right now is: sex, drugs, alcohol, those sorts of things. Which, yeah, when I was in high school, that was really sort of all one big mistake, going by the name of June 12, 1994, but I don't think that's what Dr. Phil means. For such a particular person, he really plays fast and loose with the language. The Horvaths admit that they do not talk to Nicole about any of these issues. Video Nicole says the same thing, and also that she's been in a long-term sexual relationship before. The Horvaths chew their cud and are all, "Yeah, we figured, but thought it best not to talk about it." WHAT? Mr. H is all, "I felt I could tag along with my wife but she should take control of that subject." The sex, drugs, alcohol, and those sorts of things subject? Such is the power of Dr. Phil, that even his most bizarre linguistic tics are taken up by his helpees after ten minutes.

Phil pretends that this is not Mr. H's answer to everything, and starts yelling at Mr. H about how he has an obligation to involve himself in Nicole's dating life because she's "going to have sex with guys" and there's a silent God willing bubble above all three of their heads. He says that Mr. H has the advantage here because he is a guy (also questionable, really), and so is in a better position to counsel Nicole about their feelings and behavior. Because men and women are so very very different that they're like different countries, and Mr. Horvath has to be the diplomat from Guyville, even though really he exiled himself from there long ago. So then Dr. Phil...totally abandons all of this, and ignores the scary younger daughter altogether, and jumps to the hard sell: the Horvaths, due to their awesome horribleness, have qualified to be one of the first families to read Dr. Phil's NEW BOOK THAT IS COMING OUT, Familerica First, and this will do all the work that they have no interest in doing, and thus Dr. Phil will have saved another family.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27Next

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