MONDO EXTRAS

Let's Wrinkle!

by Jacob Clifton May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time

Nope, the kids are all lying around a campfire missing home and their parents. Well, Kitty and CW are, anyhow. Calvin just misses his cult. Kitty goes to spy on the witches, who are totally talking smack about them: CW's powers are undeveloped, if considerable. He's an embryo. Kitty and Calvin are primitives. Kitty has the power within her (whatever that means) but she doesn't appreciate it, or something.

WhichWitch points out that Kitty's kind of erratic and overemotional. Mrs. Who is like, "Oh yes, isn't it wonderful?" in that horrible voice. Isn't it wonderful that she has no skills but her anger and her knowledge of the Periodic Table? Isn't it wonderful that she's an asshole? Whatsit believes that Dr. Mr. will be able to do for his children what he can't do for himself, so basically it sounds like they're sending the kids in to rescue him (empowering) but actually they're just using them as bait (abusive). The other witches keep saying things like "These humans have been my study, Which," so it sounds very heated and angry, like they're ending every sentence by calling her a witch. Get it? She totally is a witch. "It has all been mismanaged," proclaims Mrs. Which. I heartily concur.

Calvin and Kitty run into each other in the forest of Uriel. They talk about stuff, and he was worried about her, and she heard the witches talking, and she tells him, like, word for word what they were saying, doubling the time this scene takes. I mean to say that they actually repeat the dialogue from the previous scene verbatim. "I feel like I'm being held hostage in some wacko's dream," complains Kitty. "There's no one I'd rather be held hostage with," says Calvin. They hold hands, and it would be sweet, if they filmed it completely differently and if this had been led up to at all. It's been about twenty minutes, subjectively, since they met, not counting when she beat the shit out of his seven-year-old brother. Mostly, though, the hand-holding is weird because it's slow and meant to be awkward, but because everything on this planet moves so terribly slow it's more like softcore porn of hands. They watch the horrible black stuff, which is actually quite pretty. I guess they're in love now, for no reason at all.

Having come to a decision not worth being shown onscreen, the three witches hang out with them by the campfire. WhichWitch throws an apple into the air to demonstrate something or another that will help them understand something, or something. It turns into their "galactic cluster," all shiny and fake in the air. Everybody stares into the air at nothing, and the score, predictably, goes nuts. Calvin says, "Talk about a visual aid," but it's not funny or spontaneous, just sad. I feel so sorry for them having to say this shit. Then it becomes their solar system, which exists in a vast universe, and they think they're insignificant, but they aren't. Kitty and Calvin make some horny faces at each other. CW stares blankly into space. WhichWitch rotates Mars out of their solar system, only she thinks it's Earth. Everybody laughs forcedly for awhile. She shows them Earth, and that dark junk is all over it, but since there aren't any identifiable land masses on it, we don't get into a whole "darkest Africa" controversy. Their planet might be engulfed, the darkness has been there for years, et cetera et cetera. Kitty could not care less about this: What about Mr. Dr.?

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Let's Wrinkle!

by Jacob Clifton May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time Nope, the kids are all lying around a campfire missing home and their parents. Well, Kitty and CW are, anyhow. Calvin just misses his cult. Kitty goes to spy on the witches, who are totally talking smack about them: CW's powers are undeveloped, if considerable. He's an embryo. Kitty and Calvin are primitives. Kitty has the power within her (whatever that means) but she doesn't appreciate it, or something. WhichWitch points out that Kitty's kind of erratic and overemotional. Mrs. Who is like, "Oh yes, isn't it wonderful?" in that horrible voice. Isn't it wonderful that she has no skills but her anger and her knowledge of the Periodic Table? Isn't it wonderful that she's an asshole? Whatsit believes that Dr. Mr. will be able to do for his children what he can't do for himself, so basically it sounds like they're sending the kids in to rescue him (empowering) but actually they're just using them as bait (abusive). The other witches keep saying things like "These humans have been my study, Which," so it sounds very heated and angry, like they're ending every sentence by calling her a witch. Get it? She totally is a witch. "It has all been mismanaged," proclaims Mrs. Which. I heartily concur. Calvin and Kitty run into each other in the forest of Uriel. They talk about stuff, and he was worried about her, and she heard the witches talking, and she tells him, like, word for word what they were saying, doubling the time this scene takes. I mean to say that they actually repeat the dialogue from the previous scene verbatim. "I feel like I'm being held hostage in some wacko's dream," complains Kitty. "There's no one I'd rather be held hostage with," says Calvin. They hold hands, and it would be sweet, if they filmed it completely differently and if this had been led up to at all. It's been about twenty minutes, subjectively, since they met, not counting when she beat the shit out of his seven-year-old brother. Mostly, though, the hand-holding is weird because it's slow and meant to be awkward, but because everything on this planet moves so terribly slow it's more like softcore porn of hands. They watch the horrible black stuff, which is actually quite pretty. I guess they're in love now, for no reason at all. Having come to a decision not worth being shown onscreen, the three witches hang out with them by the campfire. WhichWitch throws an apple into the air to demonstrate something or another that will help them understand something, or something. It turns into their "galactic cluster," all shiny and fake in the air. Everybody stares into the air at nothing, and the score, predictably, goes nuts. Calvin says, "Talk about a visual aid," but it's not funny or spontaneous, just sad. I feel so sorry for them having to say this shit. Then it becomes their solar system, which exists in a vast universe, and they think they're insignificant, but they aren't. Kitty and Calvin make some horny faces at each other. CW stares blankly into space. WhichWitch rotates Mars out of their solar system, only she thinks it's Earth. Everybody laughs forcedly for awhile. She shows them Earth, and that dark junk is all over it, but since there aren't any identifiable land masses on it, we don't get into a whole "darkest Africa" controversy. Their planet might be engulfed, the darkness has been there for years, et cetera et cetera. Kitty could not care less about this: What about Mr. Dr.?

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