MONDO EXTRAS

Let's Wrinkle!

by Jacob Clifton May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time

Dr. Mr. is on Camazotz, a planet which fell to the darkness long ago. He was vulnerable to power of darkness because he found and used the tesseract without understanding it. Very nuclear age, that. Well, Kitty points out, what can two average teenagers and an autistic six-year-old do if Dr. Mr. couldn't even get it together to save himself or defeat the darkness? The witches are unperturbed: see, the most unlikely warriors have won battles before, especially on Earth. People like: Michelangelo (won the war against the darkness of no good naked men statues), Madame Curie (won the war for women's right to irradiate themselves), Jane Austen (won the battle against downplaying the suffering of leisure-class women in an outdated feudal system), Mother Theresa (won the war against hunger, sort of), Dr. Martin Luther King (that one's okay), Einstein (won the battle for discovering destructive new technologies before the world was ready for them -- just like your dad!), Shakespeare (won the war against no good theater in Elizabethan England), Gandhi (again, I'm not going to talk shit -- on the other hand, Jane Austen?), Bach (won the battle against the powers of the darkness for crab canons everywhere), St. Francis Assisi (won the fight for veterinary science)...and then CW collapses the whole universe down into a point, turns it back into an apple, and it drops into his hand. "And me."

So Charles Wallace won the war against Mrs. Which's visual aid?

More of that self-hating "I'm too stupid but also too smart" talk from Kitty earns her and Cal a trip to see the Happy Medium, who "works best from within," and who coincidentally lives in a cave just over Kitty's left shoulder.

Get ready for the Happy Medium.

Inside the cave, Alfre Woodard acts insane some more and tells them the HM is very jolly. "You'll like her. I stopped by to see him sixty years ago." See what she did there? With the gender and the stupid? "I laughed so hard I nearly split my sides. I mean my human form was literally coming apart at the seams." Literally. Because human bodies have seams.

Calvin asks the question we're all dying to: "Sixty years ago? So how old are you, Alfre Woodard?" 2,379,152,497 years, eight months, and two days old. For the record.

They get in a boat with the freakily erratic Mrs. Whatsit, who is honored to have been asked on this mission, all though she knows it's just because of her "verbalizing and materializing so well," with both of which I take issue. First of all, you "verbalize" at the top of your lungs without making sense. Secondly, you "materialize" for shit. I can't believe she-male Colleen Dewhurst was what you were ever aiming for.

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Let's Wrinkle!

by Jacob Clifton May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time Dr. Mr. is on Camazotz, a planet which fell to the darkness long ago. He was vulnerable to power of darkness because he found and used the tesseract without understanding it. Very nuclear age, that. Well, Kitty points out, what can two average teenagers and an autistic six-year-old do if Dr. Mr. couldn't even get it together to save himself or defeat the darkness? The witches are unperturbed: see, the most unlikely warriors have won battles before, especially on Earth. People like: Michelangelo (won the war against the darkness of no good naked men statues), Madame Curie (won the war for women's right to irradiate themselves), Jane Austen (won the battle against downplaying the suffering of leisure-class women in an outdated feudal system), Mother Theresa (won the war against hunger, sort of), Dr. Martin Luther King (that one's okay), Einstein (won the battle for discovering destructive new technologies before the world was ready for them -- just like your dad!), Shakespeare (won the war against no good theater in Elizabethan England), Gandhi (again, I'm not going to talk shit -- on the other hand, Jane Austen?), Bach (won the battle against the powers of the darkness for crab canons everywhere), St. Francis Assisi (won the fight for veterinary science)...and then CW collapses the whole universe down into a point, turns it back into an apple, and it drops into his hand. "And me." So Charles Wallace won the war against Mrs. Which's visual aid? More of that self-hating "I'm too stupid but also too smart" talk from Kitty earns her and Cal a trip to see the Happy Medium, who "works best from within," and who coincidentally lives in a cave just over Kitty's left shoulder. Get ready for the Happy Medium. Inside the cave, Alfre Woodard acts insane some more and tells them the HM is very jolly. "You'll like her. I stopped by to see him sixty years ago." See what she did there? With the gender and the stupid? "I laughed so hard I nearly split my sides. I mean my human form was literally coming apart at the seams." Literally. Because human bodies have seams. Calvin asks the question we're all dying to: "Sixty years ago? So how old are you, Alfre Woodard?" 2,379,152,497 years, eight months, and two days old. For the record. They get in a boat with the freakily erratic Mrs. Whatsit, who is honored to have been asked on this mission, all though she knows it's just because of her "verbalizing and materializing so well," with both of which I take issue. First of all, you "verbalize" at the top of your lungs without making sense. Secondly, you "materialize" for shit. I can't believe she-male Colleen Dewhurst was what you were ever aiming for.

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Get the most of your experience.
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Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

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