MONDO EXTRAS

Let's Wrinkle!

by Jacob Clifton May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time

In the boat, they pole down through the cavern...forever, of course. The music just gets all up in there with the oboe and the whatnot. We round a corner, and even the score is fooled into thinking we're getting somewhere. But no.

There are glowing glowworms in the water. Did you know they feed off laughter? Well, they don't. But maybe on this stupid planet with creepy flying Marilla Cuthbert horses, that's how it works. Why is this even an issue? Why do we have time to spend on this? The music mysteriously goes nuts again as we view the boat from a variety of angles for a million more years.

This dude, who totally looks like a dude and not a chick at all, is sitting there laughing. More fake laughter from the people in the boat. It's Corky, of annoying Canadian band Corky and the Juice Pigs, by the way. Corky thinks that Calvin "must be [Kitty]," because it's all so amazing and hermaphroditic and gender this and freak that. Corky's beyond gender extremes or something. There is no point to be made here because they've obscured whatever they were trying to do to the point of grotesquerie. Everybody acts like he's the exact medium between male and female (and everything else too) because that's pretty much central to this character, in a Joseph Campbell kind of way. I think it might have been easier to soften his obvious masculinity a bit instead of chucking a lot of "Wow, he's so very much both a man and a woman" dialogue at our heads the whole time, but what do I know? Susan Shilliday wrote Legends of the Fall, so...

The witches want Corky to show them the darkness that is engulfing Earth, which they just saw, but he shows them this stupid video in the crystal ball of this girl with a really long ponytail getting yanked by it out of a park swing. Oh, he laughs and laughs. The HM is stupid and totally a dude. This wouldn't even make it on America's Funniest Home Videos, but he's laughing like his human form is about to split a seam.

Literally.

Finally Corky gets kind of intense, and caresses his ball. It shows a star -- the star from the opening credits -- which goes supernova, and obliterates a big piece of that dark junk. "It died."

Yes, but for a reason. The kids like magically know that this star which destroyed itself against the darkness was Mrs. Whatsit. In the book this part was sublime because you got a real sense of her sacrifice. Here, not so much, because everyone speaks in non sequiturs and knows things they have no business knowing, as if by magic. The kids look up at the ceiling where the glowworms tinkle and dim in homage. Mrs. Which gives Mrs. Whatsit her props. Corky interrupts and gets giggly again and calls them mopers. I guess another word for Happy Medium is Manic Depressive. Then I swear to God he says, "What did you have for breakfast, a big bowl of misery flakes, with misery milk?"

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Let's Wrinkle!

by Jacob Clifton May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time In the boat, they pole down through the cavern...forever, of course. The music just gets all up in there with the oboe and the whatnot. We round a corner, and even the score is fooled into thinking we're getting somewhere. But no. There are glowing glowworms in the water. Did you know they feed off laughter? Well, they don't. But maybe on this stupid planet with creepy flying Marilla Cuthbert horses, that's how it works. Why is this even an issue? Why do we have time to spend on this? The music mysteriously goes nuts again as we view the boat from a variety of angles for a million more years. This dude, who totally looks like a dude and not a chick at all, is sitting there laughing. More fake laughter from the people in the boat. It's Corky, of annoying Canadian band Corky and the Juice Pigs, by the way. Corky thinks that Calvin "must be [Kitty]," because it's all so amazing and hermaphroditic and gender this and freak that. Corky's beyond gender extremes or something. There is no point to be made here because they've obscured whatever they were trying to do to the point of grotesquerie. Everybody acts like he's the exact medium between male and female (and everything else too) because that's pretty much central to this character, in a Joseph Campbell kind of way. I think it might have been easier to soften his obvious masculinity a bit instead of chucking a lot of "Wow, he's so very much both a man and a woman" dialogue at our heads the whole time, but what do I know? Susan Shilliday wrote Legends of the Fall, so... The witches want Corky to show them the darkness that is engulfing Earth, which they just saw, but he shows them this stupid video in the crystal ball of this girl with a really long ponytail getting yanked by it out of a park swing. Oh, he laughs and laughs. The HM is stupid and totally a dude. This wouldn't even make it on America's Funniest Home Videos, but he's laughing like his human form is about to split a seam. Literally. Finally Corky gets kind of intense, and caresses his ball. It shows a star -- the star from the opening credits -- which goes supernova, and obliterates a big piece of that dark junk. "It died." Yes, but for a reason. The kids like magically know that this star which destroyed itself against the darkness was Mrs. Whatsit. In the book this part was sublime because you got a real sense of her sacrifice. Here, not so much, because everyone speaks in non sequiturs and knows things they have no business knowing, as if by magic. The kids look up at the ceiling where the glowworms tinkle and dim in homage. Mrs. Which gives Mrs. Whatsit her props. Corky interrupts and gets giggly again and calls them mopers. I guess another word for Happy Medium is Manic Depressive. Then I swear to God he says, "What did you have for breakfast, a big bowl of misery flakes, with misery milk?"

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Get the most of your experience.
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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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