MONDO EXTRAS

Let's Wrinkle!

by admin May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time

IT dude and CW float Kitty over the giant brain in the floor, and everybody says the same thing sixteen times at the top of their lungs. "What's the square root of three, Meg?" asks Dr. Mr. as Evil CW laughs, drunk on power. Calvin and Dr. Mr. decide to get the hell out of there and just leave CW behind. For no reason and on the basis of no facts whatsoever, Calvin has figured out that Mr. Dr. can correctly operate the tesseract if he wears Mrs. Who's glasses. So he does it. Things get blurry and there are stupid sounds and lots of non-movement.

Finally it ends and they land in a bunch of snow. Some hairy dudes like Chewbacca come wiggling and sauntering up. They have really detailed lips coming out of their Cousin It hairy heads, so it's creepy. Just a pile of hair with lips and nose-holes. We are told by the voice of one of them that we are on Ixchel, a planet for love and understanding. And a need...To Serve Man. Kitty hands Calvin a huge bag of crap for leaving CW behind.

A while later, Kitty rests in the arms of one of the Ixchel hairballs -- Aunt Beast. They've spent an unknown amount of time on Ixchel and they're all feeling better. Kitty's still bitching about having left CW behind. Aunt Beast explains that the Hairball people feel things "not as they seem, but as they are," which is something I think Madonna might say. Aunt Beast tells Kitty that she's being stupid, basically, and to get over it. She sends her in a vision back to the Murry household, where thousands of pieces of paper float around on the air for no reason. She screams out everyone's name in the whole cast, and mispronounces Dennys's name even though she said it right in her voice-over at the beginning, and Mr. Jenkins said it correctly right in front of her too. She calls for the dog, even.

Kitty finally notices the sheets of paper floating at her from every direction, and grabs one out of the air, stares into space for awhile, and then grabs another before looking at them. It's black and white Xerox pictures of her face. Why? She hears someone calling for help in the distance...it's Kitty? What is going on? Other-Meg gives the same basic self-hatred speech we've been hearing since the first scene. It's almost like character development, without any changes or what you might call "development." If this movie were well-made, I would think it's cool that Meg can only get her shit together when she's out of the fire and hanging out with the Wookiees on the Ice Planet, but I doubt they're making a point here. Just some point about how Kitty is her own worst enemy, blah blah blah, and that you should see things as they are and not how you see them, whatever the hell that means. Finally Other-Meg pushes so hard that Kitty figures out that IT is all about keeping you from knowing what you are doing.

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Let's Wrinkle!

by admin May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time Then this Russian female astronaut comes floating out of a giant book and does a dance in the air. For real. Why? This goes on all night long. Then she floats back down into the giant book. It is retarded. The others keep yelling. Effeminate IT dude zaps Dr. Mr. and floats the Fibonacci sequence in front of CW to prove some point. What's funny is that I knew it was the Fibonacci sequence not because I recognized the numbers but because it's always the Fibonacci sequence. Then he tells CW it's all a game and if CW wins the game he'll let all of them go. It's all quite dumb. There's some slo-mo as CW and the IT dude feed on each other's minds and whatnot. CW's eyes turn red and creepy. The others keep yelling. IT dude and CW float Kitty over the giant brain in the floor, and everybody says the same thing sixteen times at the top of their lungs. "What's the square root of three, Meg?" asks Dr. Mr. as Evil CW laughs, drunk on power. Calvin and Dr. Mr. decide to get the hell out of there and just leave CW behind. For no reason and on the basis of no facts whatsoever, Calvin has figured out that Mr. Dr. can correctly operate the tesseract if he wears Mrs. Who's glasses. So he does it. Things get blurry and there are stupid sounds and lots of non-movement. Finally it ends and they land in a bunch of snow. Some hairy dudes like Chewbacca come wiggling and sauntering up. They have really detailed lips coming out of their Cousin It hairy heads, so it's creepy. Just a pile of hair with lips and nose-holes. We are told by the voice of one of them that we are on Ixchel, a planet for love and understanding. And a need...To Serve Man. Kitty hands Calvin a huge bag of crap for leaving CW behind. A while later, Kitty rests in the arms of one of the Ixchel hairballs -- Aunt Beast. They've spent an unknown amount of time on Ixchel and they're all feeling better. Kitty's still bitching about having left CW behind. Aunt Beast explains that the Hairball people feel things "not as they seem, but as they are," which is something I think Madonna might say. Aunt Beast tells Kitty that she's being stupid, basically, and to get over it. She sends her in a vision back to the Murry household, where thousands of pieces of paper float around on the air for no reason. She screams out everyone's name in the whole cast, and mispronounces Dennys's name even though she said it right in her voice-over at the beginning, and Mr. Jenkins said it correctly right in front of her too. She calls for the dog, even.

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