MONDO EXTRAS

Let's Wrinkle!

by Jacob Clifton May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time

Kitty and CW leave. CW points out the sun coming up and the clouds of Camazotz lifting as the darkness is eradicated. They hold hands, but it isn't pervy like it was with Hezekiah O'Keefe. You knew it was going to get wiggly and blurry one last time, and it does. The score gets way ahead of itself as they tesser for a year and two months.

The camera shakes as if the whole world is shaking instead of just one camera as the Murrys and Calvin crash-land in the yard, grunting in shock. The camera spins wildly to the bedroom, where Dr. Mrs. and the twins are huddled together, shaking in the storm. "Star-watching rock," murmurs one of the twins. Kitty lolls about on the ground and realizes they're all home. Everybody hugs all over the place and points out how this person saved that person and that person saved this person and whatever.

Mrs. Dr. comes running and hugs the kids for a second before she sees her husband. Calvin's holding him up, due to the broken leg. Dr. Mrs. and Dr. Mr. kiss passionately. Calvin makes an unknown face. Dr. Mr. tells his wife that Kitty saved everybody. The twins laugh at this ridiculous concept, but Mrs. Dr. is not surprised one bit. The score does your crying for you. Dr. Mr. assigns Calvin "honorary family member" status, even though he's been in this dimension exactly thirty-seven seconds.

Two stars trailing clouds of purple gas zoom off overhead. Everybody is impressed by this, even the twins. The shooting stars abruptly zoom around and come back and turn into Mrs. Whatsit and Mrs. Who. Mrs. Dr. gets an introduction. Then Mrs. Which totally makes this grand entrance and floats above their heads because she's the awesomest. The witches and Mrs. Dr. let it be known that this whole adventure only took a few minutes, instead of most of my adult life like I thought. I wish they were telling the truth. "We made a little adjustment," Mrs. Who says in that horrible damn voice, "A wrinkle...in time."

Whatsit steps up and puts her creepy crazy shawl around Kitty's neck and congratulates her on her work. She tells her that she loves humans but Kitty most of all and that she's not going to be Mrs. Whatsit anymore. Mrs. Who tells Calvin goodbye, and Meg returns her glasses. Mrs. Which reminds CW that his debt to the universe is hardly repaid. Mrs. Which tells Kitty that she's going to have to save the universe a few more times. Mrs. Whatsit says goodbye to Kitty and tells her that part of her burns in Kitty now. They take off.

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Let's Wrinkle!

by Jacob Clifton May 19, 2004
A Wrinkle in Time IT Guy looks kind of like Chris Noth. Kitty tries to convince CW that she doesn't hate him as the evil volleyball zaps the floor near her. "Even as you are now," she says realistically, she still loves and will always love him. IT Guy balks as she continues on this love trip. The camera effects go crazy. The shallow wading pool crashes about. IT Guy's hair goes all wrong. Under the floor of the pool is some giant brain action. Kitty gets floated back up into the air again. CW's eyes go back to normal after Kitty tells him she loves him for the forty-seven-hundredth time. Willow's hair turns red again. That dome totally smashes into a million pieces, just like you knew it would. I kind of thought there would be a reason, though. The glowing red eyes of the snake near the front door go dead. Kitty tries to convince the basketball kid that he's free now, and they all come running into the Bingo area, where there's glass everywhere. Crouching oddly and holding a basketball, Kitty gives a weird speech about "Don't you see? You can't give up! You can't give in! Like and equal are not the same thing! Whatever the hell that means! You have to find your own beat!" Giggling with her own cleverness, she tosses the ball to the basketball star kid, who thumps some people with it, awakening them to freedom and their own beat. I am not making this up. He fully throws it to this Matrix-y looking CIA guy who catches it, looking confused, then breaks out in sunbeam smiles as he realizes he is free -- to play ball! He starts bouncing that ball around all over the place. The other people gasp. I am embarrassed for everyone involved, but mostly myself. Kitty and CW leave. CW points out the sun coming up and the clouds of Camazotz lifting as the darkness is eradicated. They hold hands, but it isn't pervy like it was with Hezekiah O'Keefe. You knew it was going to get wiggly and blurry one last time, and it does. The score gets way ahead of itself as they tesser for a year and two months. The camera shakes as if the whole world is shaking instead of just one camera as the Murrys and Calvin crash-land in the yard, grunting in shock. The camera spins wildly to the bedroom, where Dr. Mrs. and the twins are huddled together, shaking in the storm. "Star-watching rock," murmurs one of the twins. Kitty lolls about on the ground and realizes they're all home. Everybody hugs all over the place and points out how this person saved that person and that person saved this person and whatever.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31Next

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