MONDO EXTRAS

Good eeeeeeeeeeeeeevening! Are you ready for a fright? Well, then go rent Saw. For tonight, thanks to the charitable contribution of Jenn, winner of the WhoJackie Memorial Charity Drive, you will be reading a recap of an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. I'm not saying it's not scary. Okay, maybe I am. But oh, does it build the suspense. Check out the DVD Episode Summary:

After breaking out of the state pen, convict Sam Cobbett (John Cassavetes) holes up at a nearby farmhouse. There, he intimidates the lone occupant into helping him elude a manhunt, only to discover that there is something very odd about the woman hiding him.

Okay, first of all, F'ing Cassavetes! Pioneer of independent film, and man who is indirectly responsible for the Laura Branigan smash "Gloria." That last bit is actually not true, but somehow, in my mind, "Gloria" is totally on the soundtrack of the movie Gloria, which I have actually never seen. If you try to question me about the illogic of all this, I don't have to answer, and will leave you hanging on the li-ine. All I know is that I have a powerful urge to transport myself to a karaoke bar right now. In any case, RIP, John Cassavetes, and Gena Rowlands, if you are reading this, I salute you. Did you guys see The Notebook? Gena Rowlands is, like, eighty and still smokin', even when pretending to have Alzheimer's or whatever.

But I digress. In any case, second of all, "...only to discover that there is something very odd about the woman hiding him." How intriguing is that? Does she have a sixth toe that can radio the police? Is she, in fact, a psycho killer, fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa? Does she chop up convicts on the lam and bake them into pies that she sells for school fundraisers? Is she bearing the child of the devil, like in Rosemary's Baby, a film that also stars John Cassavetes? It has to be something like that, right? Right? Well, read on.

In any case, it's Alfred Hitchcock Presents! A minimalist line drawing of a whiskery boulder tumbling down a mountain -- and don't ask why the boulder has whiskers, that I can't tell you -- fills the screen as the theme song plays. You know the theme song, the one that sounds vaguely like The Addams Family theme song but with less snaps? And then, the profile of Alfred Hitchcock moves into that line drawing. And oh, what a profile it is. I know he's a genius of our time and whatever, but if your profile fit into that line drawing, wouldn't you maybe consider having a chin lift and some lipo? Wikipedia tells me that Hitchcock drew that profile himself, which makes me think that he has either an unflinching sense of reality or complete lack of ego.

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Good eeeeeeeeeeeeeevening! Are you ready for a fright? Well, then go rent Saw. For tonight, thanks to the charitable contribution of Jenn, winner of the WhoJackie Memorial Charity Drive, you will be reading a recap of an episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. I'm not saying it's not scary. Okay, maybe I am. But oh, does it build the suspense. Check out the DVD Episode Summary:

After breaking out of the state pen, convict Sam Cobbett (John Cassavetes) holes up at a nearby farmhouse. There, he intimidates the lone occupant into helping him elude a manhunt, only to discover that there is something very odd about the woman hiding him.

Okay, first of all, F'ing Cassavetes! Pioneer of independent film, and man who is indirectly responsible for the Laura Branigan smash "Gloria." That last bit is actually not true, but somehow, in my mind, "Gloria" is totally on the soundtrack of the movie Gloria, which I have actually never seen. If you try to question me about the illogic of all this, I don't have to answer, and will leave you hanging on the li-ine. All I know is that I have a powerful urge to transport myself to a karaoke bar right now. In any case, RIP, John Cassavetes, and Gena Rowlands, if you are reading this, I salute you. Did you guys see The Notebook? Gena Rowlands is, like, eighty and still smokin', even when pretending to have Alzheimer's or whatever.

But I digress. In any case, second of all, "...only to discover that there is something very odd about the woman hiding him." How intriguing is that? Does she have a sixth toe that can radio the police? Is she, in fact, a psycho killer, fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa? Does she chop up convicts on the lam and bake them into pies that she sells for school fundraisers? Is she bearing the child of the devil, like in Rosemary's Baby, a film that also stars John Cassavetes? It has to be something like that, right? Right? Well, read on.

In any case, it's Alfred Hitchcock Presents! A minimalist line drawing of a whiskery boulder tumbling down a mountain -- and don't ask why the boulder has whiskers, that I can't tell you -- fills the screen as the theme song plays. You know the theme song, the one that sounds vaguely like The Addams Family theme song but with less snaps? And then, the profile of Alfred Hitchcock moves into that line drawing. And oh, what a profile it is. I know he's a genius of our time and whatever, but if your profile fit into that line drawing, wouldn't you maybe consider having a chin lift and some lipo? Wikipedia tells me that Hitchcock drew that profile himself, which makes me think that he has either an unflinching sense of reality or complete lack of ego.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next