MONDO EXTRAS

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: You Gotta Have Luck

Cobbett grabs two more jackets out of the closet, and hands one to Mary. He says that she'll need it. She says that she's not going, but he tells her that she is. Everything will be easier with her along, he reasons, because nobody will be looking for him with a dame. Yeah, a dame, see! Mary says that he doesn't need her, and that she'll be in the way. And then, Cobbett admits it. He doesn't just want her for a front -- he wants her to come. He likes her. Mary understandably kind of freaks out and starts screaming that she'd make a mistake and give him away. He tells her to be quiet, but she keeps freaking out, and then he actually smacks her in the face, hard, saying, "I said be quiet! What's a matter, you deaf?" Oh, when will her lesbian lover come to save her?

He runs downstairs and scurries around the various kitchen windows before turning the lights on. Mary comes downstairs, meek, coat in hand. Oh, jump out the window or something. Jesus. Cobbett says, "I'm sorry, but you gotta learn, chick. When I tell you to do something, do it. Don't stall." He really has a way with the ladies. He hands Mary her purse and says that when they need to buy something, like a bus ticket, she'll pay for it. That three dollars is really going to get them far. He reminds her that he has a knife. She begs him once more not to take her and gets kind of hysterical, and he has to shake some sense into her. Oy, it's like Groundhog Day in this place.

The two step outside. And then, just like that, the police are upon them! They just step behind Cobbett and handcuff him. Like, that's it. Warden Jacobs goes up to Mary and asks very slowly and exaggeratedly if they can use her phone. She says that he doesn't have to talk like that, she can understand, and to go ahead. Warden Jacobs tells an officer to go and call in and say they found him right where the lady thought he was. And at this point, I was like, her lesbian lover totally DID save her! That old compromisin', enterprisin', anything but tranquilizin' right on Maude! Warden Jacobs says that the officer should be sure to call the editor of The Eagle.

The Warden takes a good look at the cleaned-up Cobbett and notes how he's changed. Oh, don't make him give the speech again, please. Cobbett has one question -- how did they know he was there? Um, lesbian lover! Hello! But the Warden says, "You told us. When you made the young lady answer the telephone." Cobbett takes a long look at Mary, and Warden Jacobs notes that she's been totally deaf ever since she was nine years old. Okay, seriously? That's what's very odd about her? The Warden says that when Mary talked to her mother on the phone like she could hear, her mother knew that something was wrong. She had heard the radio broadcast, and put two and two together. Which also seems like kind of a big leap, but whatever. I still choose to believe my version of events, which is that she was saved by her lesbian lover with whom she chops up criminals on the lam for delicious meat pies. Cobbett was THISCLOSE. He's actually lucky the police found him.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

Comments

Alfred Hitchcock Presents: You Gotta Have Luck

Cobbett grabs two more jackets out of the closet, and hands one to Mary. He says that she'll need it. She says that she's not going, but he tells her that she is. Everything will be easier with her along, he reasons, because nobody will be looking for him with a dame. Yeah, a dame, see! Mary says that he doesn't need her, and that she'll be in the way. And then, Cobbett admits it. He doesn't just want her for a front -- he wants her to come. He likes her. Mary understandably kind of freaks out and starts screaming that she'd make a mistake and give him away. He tells her to be quiet, but she keeps freaking out, and then he actually smacks her in the face, hard, saying, "I said be quiet! What's a matter, you deaf?" Oh, when will her lesbian lover come to save her?

He runs downstairs and scurries around the various kitchen windows before turning the lights on. Mary comes downstairs, meek, coat in hand. Oh, jump out the window or something. Jesus. Cobbett says, "I'm sorry, but you gotta learn, chick. When I tell you to do something, do it. Don't stall." He really has a way with the ladies. He hands Mary her purse and says that when they need to buy something, like a bus ticket, she'll pay for it. That three dollars is really going to get them far. He reminds her that he has a knife. She begs him once more not to take her and gets kind of hysterical, and he has to shake some sense into her. Oy, it's like Groundhog Day in this place.

The two step outside. And then, just like that, the police are upon them! They just step behind Cobbett and handcuff him. Like, that's it. Warden Jacobs goes up to Mary and asks very slowly and exaggeratedly if they can use her phone. She says that he doesn't have to talk like that, she can understand, and to go ahead. Warden Jacobs tells an officer to go and call in and say they found him right where the lady thought he was. And at this point, I was like, her lesbian lover totally DID save her! That old compromisin', enterprisin', anything but tranquilizin' right on Maude! Warden Jacobs says that the officer should be sure to call the editor of The Eagle.

The Warden takes a good look at the cleaned-up Cobbett and notes how he's changed. Oh, don't make him give the speech again, please. Cobbett has one question -- how did they know he was there? Um, lesbian lover! Hello! But the Warden says, "You told us. When you made the young lady answer the telephone." Cobbett takes a long look at Mary, and Warden Jacobs notes that she's been totally deaf ever since she was nine years old. Okay, seriously? That's what's very odd about her? The Warden says that when Mary talked to her mother on the phone like she could hear, her mother knew that something was wrong. She had heard the radio broadcast, and put two and two together. Which also seems like kind of a big leap, but whatever. I still choose to believe my version of events, which is that she was saved by her lesbian lover with whom she chops up criminals on the lam for delicious meat pies. Cobbett was THISCLOSE. He's actually lucky the police found him.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP