MONDO EXTRAS

Vexingest Man Alive

by Daniel January 25, 2003
America's Prince: The John F. Kennedy Jr. Story

The scene that launched a lawsuit and really should have launched a couple more: John's servicing some redhead in bed. Julia Roberts, call your lawyer. John's phone rings, but he lets the machine pick it up. His answering machine actually says, "Hi. It's Honest John. Leave a message," like what is that about? Some wavery-voiced woman calling herself "Daryl" as in Daryl Hannah is exhorting John to pick up the phone. So he does, which can't please "Julia" too much. Daryl's whining that "Jackson" (as in Jackson Browne, lawsuit pending) just "lost it" but she insists she's not hurt, and the doctor says she's a lucky girl, and it's no wonder Jackson Browne called his lawyer, and the real Daryl Hannah should, too, if only because she's way better-looking than this stand-in, who is pleading for John to come get her.

After that dingbat Brunette blathers on about John rescuing Daryl Hannah, who got every woman's fantasy, we're treated to John and Daryl making out. Or maybe they're making love. But it's the cheesiest love scene I've ever seen outside anything starring Shannon Tweed. And there's the click of a camera shutter, putting them on the cover of a tabloid.

Kennedy Friend explains that their on-again/off-again relationship was "on again" and then pretends to be repeating an interviewer's question about what Jackie would have thought about it. He says that actresses weren't easy for Jackie to handle, since she'd been through this before. The camera has zoomed in right up the guy's nose. Then to make sure we know what he means, he says, "Need I even say, Marilyn Monroe?" No. No, you need not.

Shut up, Sister Carrot Top. You too, Brunette.

John and Daryl are getting ready to go meet John's mom. John's in a dark suit. Daryl's in a white dress with flowers, and John asks her if that's what she's going to wear. "Yes, why?" says Daryl, and John says "no reason" and maybe Daryl, being a woman, isn't used to getting asked that, but every guy knows that "Is that what you're going to wear?" actually means "You are not wearing that," but John and Daryl just head out.

While Daryl wanders through the Kennedy residence, John orders his mom to go out and meet Daryl. "I promise I will later," she says, and adds that her head is "splitting," but John isn't buying it. He says that Daryl's been looking forward to it. "I think it's time you get to know her," he says, and Jackie says, "Darling, I already do."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next

Comments

Vexingest Man Alive

by Daniel January 25, 2003
America's Prince: The John F. Kennedy Jr. Story

The scene that launched a lawsuit and really should have launched a couple more: John's servicing some redhead in bed. Julia Roberts, call your lawyer. John's phone rings, but he lets the machine pick it up. His answering machine actually says, "Hi. It's Honest John. Leave a message," like what is that about? Some wavery-voiced woman calling herself "Daryl" as in Daryl Hannah is exhorting John to pick up the phone. So he does, which can't please "Julia" too much. Daryl's whining that "Jackson" (as in Jackson Browne, lawsuit pending) just "lost it" but she insists she's not hurt, and the doctor says she's a lucky girl, and it's no wonder Jackson Browne called his lawyer, and the real Daryl Hannah should, too, if only because she's way better-looking than this stand-in, who is pleading for John to come get her.

After that dingbat Brunette blathers on about John rescuing Daryl Hannah, who got every woman's fantasy, we're treated to John and Daryl making out. Or maybe they're making love. But it's the cheesiest love scene I've ever seen outside anything starring Shannon Tweed. And there's the click of a camera shutter, putting them on the cover of a tabloid.

Kennedy Friend explains that their on-again/off-again relationship was "on again" and then pretends to be repeating an interviewer's question about what Jackie would have thought about it. He says that actresses weren't easy for Jackie to handle, since she'd been through this before. The camera has zoomed in right up the guy's nose. Then to make sure we know what he means, he says, "Need I even say, Marilyn Monroe?" No. No, you need not.

Shut up, Sister Carrot Top. You too, Brunette.

John and Daryl are getting ready to go meet John's mom. John's in a dark suit. Daryl's in a white dress with flowers, and John asks her if that's what she's going to wear. "Yes, why?" says Daryl, and John says "no reason" and maybe Daryl, being a woman, isn't used to getting asked that, but every guy knows that "Is that what you're going to wear?" actually means "You are not wearing that," but John and Daryl just head out.

While Daryl wanders through the Kennedy residence, John orders his mom to go out and meet Daryl. "I promise I will later," she says, and adds that her head is "splitting," but John isn't buying it. He says that Daryl's been looking forward to it. "I think it's time you get to know her," he says, and Jackie says, "Darling, I already do."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Next

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP