MONDO EXTRAS

Vexingest Man Alive

by Daniel January 25, 2003
America's Prince: The John F. Kennedy Jr. Story

John, continuing to work hard. Now he's playing Frisbee with his buddy Michael, while people snap pictures and two women joggers stop their running to say, "John alert!" like they do this all the time or something, and they congratulate him on passing the bar. George Editor says that even as late as 1995, John was still being criticized for being a bit of a dilettante and it bothered him because he didn't disagree. Back to the park, where John and Michael rest up after their game of Frisbee, and John whines about all the losers he gets stuck with in the D.A.'s office. Michael tells him he should stop, since he never wanted to be a lawyer anyway, and John shows off his back and says, "That's my mother's thumbprint," and he whines that people expect things of him, while his buddy gets this look on his face like, "Oh, yeah, you're JFK Jr., must be rough." Then they start talking about Al Gore appearing on Letterman and John says Gore was pretty funny. Michael says that everyone in politics is trying to get into show business, and the ratings were through the roof, and that gives John an idea. They may as well have had a little light bulb go off over John's head, and he repeats what Michael said, and Michael wants to know what John's point is.

At a newsstand, John introduces himself to a starstruck customer and asks him if, given the opportunity, he'd read a magazine about politics, while Michael blathers that the magazine would eliminate the points of convergence with business and media and art and fashion, and I have no idea what he's talking about, but it doesn't matter to Frankie the Magazine Customer, who says, "Only if there was a naked woman on the cover," and John smiles like that's a really valuable piece of information instead of an absolutely moronic thing to say. He tells Michael, "Never underestimate the value of sex." And Michael just says "right" because his friend is acting like he just discovered the concept that sex sells.

Since the story is picking up momentum, I guess it's time to kill it with a flashback to the 1988 Democratic National Convention, as George Editor tells us that John just wanted his mom to treat him like an adult, as she did Caroline. John is introduced to the adoring, screaming delegates, and he in turn introduces his Uncle Teddy, who certainly did the Kennedy Legacy proud. Jackie and some guy (who turns out to be Maurice Tempelsman, the third and final man in her life) watch him on television. "He looks just like Jack," she says. George Editor repeats her statement about John just wanting to be treated like an adult, I guess in case we missed it the first time a few seconds ago.

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Vexingest Man Alive

by Daniel January 25, 2003
America's Prince: The John F. Kennedy Jr. Story

John, continuing to work hard. Now he's playing Frisbee with his buddy Michael, while people snap pictures and two women joggers stop their running to say, "John alert!" like they do this all the time or something, and they congratulate him on passing the bar. George Editor says that even as late as 1995, John was still being criticized for being a bit of a dilettante and it bothered him because he didn't disagree. Back to the park, where John and Michael rest up after their game of Frisbee, and John whines about all the losers he gets stuck with in the D.A.'s office. Michael tells him he should stop, since he never wanted to be a lawyer anyway, and John shows off his back and says, "That's my mother's thumbprint," and he whines that people expect things of him, while his buddy gets this look on his face like, "Oh, yeah, you're JFK Jr., must be rough." Then they start talking about Al Gore appearing on Letterman and John says Gore was pretty funny. Michael says that everyone in politics is trying to get into show business, and the ratings were through the roof, and that gives John an idea. They may as well have had a little light bulb go off over John's head, and he repeats what Michael said, and Michael wants to know what John's point is.

At a newsstand, John introduces himself to a starstruck customer and asks him if, given the opportunity, he'd read a magazine about politics, while Michael blathers that the magazine would eliminate the points of convergence with business and media and art and fashion, and I have no idea what he's talking about, but it doesn't matter to Frankie the Magazine Customer, who says, "Only if there was a naked woman on the cover," and John smiles like that's a really valuable piece of information instead of an absolutely moronic thing to say. He tells Michael, "Never underestimate the value of sex." And Michael just says "right" because his friend is acting like he just discovered the concept that sex sells.

Since the story is picking up momentum, I guess it's time to kill it with a flashback to the 1988 Democratic National Convention, as George Editor tells us that John just wanted his mom to treat him like an adult, as she did Caroline. John is introduced to the adoring, screaming delegates, and he in turn introduces his Uncle Teddy, who certainly did the Kennedy Legacy proud. Jackie and some guy (who turns out to be Maurice Tempelsman, the third and final man in her life) watch him on television. "He looks just like Jack," she says. George Editor repeats her statement about John just wanting to be treated like an adult, I guess in case we missed it the first time a few seconds ago.

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