We next learn that the show is really, really popular, thanks to a long, padded montage of people changing channels, clocks ticking, and Farrah, Jaclyn, and Kate parading around in a series of Angel outfits so quintessential that even I recognize them, although their familarity does not excuse the fact that Jaclyn is wearing knickers.
We then slide into a scene of the girls dressed up as though they're in the Army. Filming cuts, so that the girls can have their hair fixed, and Kate complains that all anyone cares about is hair. Kate? Meet Aaron Spelling! He has a bowl cut. Clearly, it's all about the hair. Also, the outfits. And, if you're lucky, catfights.
Later, Jaclyn is walking her dogs in the park. Some little girls run up to her and announce that they want her autograph. She is pleased...until she learns that the girls are staying up after their bedtime and disobeying their parents to watch her show. She tells the girls primly that Angels always mind their parents. The little girls make a series of hilarious disgusted and disappointed faces, and tell her to make the autograph out to "Roger." Behind them, someone's dad waves cheerfully. Jaclyn makes a pert little "oh MY!" face, and signs her name.
Meanwhile, the network has finally realized that Farrah is really, really popular, or, as the ABC Research guy puts it, "Farrah Mania has begun!" Everyone at the network is really very happy. I mean, there's clapping and everything. And now that the network is happy, I can sleep again. Wake me when Sydney gets arrested for prostitution.
Wow, another montage? Yes. Yes, because the actual running time of this movie without such padding would be, like, thirty minutes. Anyway. In the montage, people mob Farrah when she jogs! She's elected an honorary Dallas Cowboy cheerleader! She gets to be a model! People get her haircut! She won't be in Playboy...except in an interview! And much later, all naked, when she gets desperate for attention! People make pencils with her head on them! Little girls are Farrah for Halloween! Lee Majors's co-workers indicate that their adolescent sons are wacking off to his wife's image. It's madness!
Meanwhile, all is not well with Lee Majors. His MAID is serving him dinner! Instead of his wife! Can you imagine the indignity? Can you conceive of the pain? Lee looks at his watch and sulks us right into commercial.
Speaking of plastic Farrah heads stuck on pencils -- as I so often am -- Farrah won't "sign her contract until the [merchandising] issue is resolved," Aaron tells Len. She's not stupid, he says, playing absently with a Farrah doll. Sure, keep telling us that. Len mentions that whatever they give to Farrah, they're going to have to give to those other two, whatever the hell their names are. Also, this could set a dangerous predecent. Len really doesn't think Farrah will quit. I've never been so excited about merchandising! Although I am really not at all excited.