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Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Charlie’s Angels

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Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Charlie's Angels
Meanwhile, Lee Majors is at a record store. Two dudes hang Farrah's Nippletastic poster and start talking about her boobies and Lee goes nuts, grabs one of them, tells him to "show some respect," and stomps out. One of the dudes makes the time-honored "square" signal, which I think needs to come back. The other dude just pats his afro thoughtfully. On the lot. Farrah's holed up in her trailer, on the phone, crying to Lee that dinner is ready, "[she] just needs to put it in the oven." I guess Lee leapt into the car, raced home, got pissed off about dinner, and called her, right off the bat, because I sort of feel like this scene should have had something separating it from the one before it. Also, Memo to Lee: learn to use the goddamned oven. Farrah's sobbing that she got up at 4 AM to make chili for him. Memo to Farrah: hire a goddamned chef. ["Further Memo to Farrah: Chili goes on the stove, not the oven." -- Wing Chun] Barney knocks softly -- having overhead this pathetic exchange -- and comes in to tell her that they're almost done. Farrah sobs that she has so much left to do: learn her lines, approve her wardrobe, take off her makeup, "and be a wife." Sniffle. That wasn't me sniffling. It was Farrah. Barney responds that television is hard. Farrah sobs that she never had burning ambition like Kate, and now her life doesn't even belong to her anymore. Waaaaaaaah! She almost tells Barney that she wants to quit, but then smiles and says she's just tired. Barney assures her that she can talk to him about anything. Farrah just puts on a happy face and follows him obediently back to the set. Speaking of Kate, she stomps around the set until she finds Barney, and demands to talk to him about this rumor in the tabloids that she's being written out of the series. She squeals that she's just trying to make the show better, and now people think she's "difficult." Oh, Kate. You hate the show. Wouldn't you be secretly thrilled to be written off? Barney helpfully points out that Marlon Brando is difficult, and people still work with him. Barney? Hi there. Listen, take a seat, because I need to tell you something: Kate Jackson is lovely, but a Brando, she is not. At this moment, Kate gets called away: Warren Beatty's on the phone for her. As she turns, Kate yells at Barney to let them write her out. "I'm going to be Warren's next leading lady." And by "next leading lady," she means "next hot piece of ass." Across town, this dude in an ugly shirt and a bad, bad mustache arrives at Casa Fawcett-Majors to interview SeƱora Farrah. What he gets, though, is Jay Bernstein, floating in the pool with a drink. Jay explains that the role of Farrah Fawcett is being played by...well, him. Because she's got some other shit to take care of. The dude is astonished. Jay doesn't care, and reiterates that if Dude wants the interview, this is how it's going to work. So Dude sits, and begins the interview, asking about Farrah's super-successful and totally awesome marriage. Jay responds that he rushes home from work to change and greet Lee with a drink and a kiss. The Dude is all, "Am I on Candid Camera?" Jay explains that he's certainly not. He's simply stuck in the middle of FARRAH MANIA!

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Mondo Extra
Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Charlie's Angels

Episode Report Card
Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Charlie's Angels

Speaking of Kate, she stomps around the set until she finds Barney, and demands to talk to him about this rumor in the tabloids that she's being written out of the series. She squeals that she's just trying to make the show better, and now people think she's "difficult." Oh, Kate. You hate the show. Wouldn't you be secretly thrilled to be written off? Barney helpfully points out that Marlon Brando is difficult, and people still work with him. Barney? Hi there. Listen, take a seat, because I need to tell you something: Kate Jackson is lovely, but a Brando, she is not. At this moment, Kate gets called away: Warren Beatty's on the phone for her. As she turns, Kate yells at Barney to let them write her out. "I'm going to be Warren's next leading lady." And by "next leading lady," she means "next hot piece of ass."

Across town, this dude in an ugly shirt and a bad, bad mustache arrives at Casa Fawcett-Majors to interview Señora Farrah. What he gets, though, is Jay Bernstein, floating in the pool with a drink. Jay explains that the role of Farrah Fawcett is being played by...well, him. Because she's got some other shit to take care of. The dude is astonished. Jay doesn't care, and reiterates that if Dude wants the interview, this is how it's going to work. So Dude sits, and begins the interview, asking about Farrah's super-successful and totally awesome marriage. Jay responds that he rushes home from work to change and greet Lee with a drink and a kiss. The Dude is all, "Am I on Candid Camera?" Jay explains that he's certainly not. He's simply stuck in the middle of FARRAH MANIA!

Elsewhere, Aaron and Len are in a screening. Aaron is in the middle of giving notes when Barney comes in and announces that they need to talk. Why, you ask? Well, he's peeved about some semi-derogatory interview Aaron has given to an unnamed publication, in which he says that the show isn't about anything more than jiggling boobies and hot asses. Barney yelps that he's totally being undermined! But Aaron, no fool he, insists that the show is now and always has been "camp. Mindless entertainment. Eye candy!" Len agrees: "It ain't broke. Stop trying to fix it." Serious Producer Barney stomps his feet and tells the men that they can't lose by making a better show. Len and Aaron, frankly, disagree; mediocrity is just fine with them, God bless them! But Barney and his patchwork vest think this is just terrible and stomps off. "He is really starting to get on my nerves," Len says. Hee. I might be falling a little bit in love with Len.

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