L.A. Superior Court Men's Bathroom. The urinal. Jay and the suits make a last-minute deal, dicks out, as he tells them that Farrah will take two seasons and six episodes, at "one fifty a shot."
Chung chung across town where Len is stunned to learn that they're going to pay a million bucks for what is basically a guest role. Aaron monotones that it's not a victory, not yet a total defeat. Much as Farrah is not a girl, not yet a woman. And Len is all, "FINE!" And Aaron is all, "FINE!" And the men agree that they can't tell anyone how much they're paying that bitch.
Mr. Arnold meets with the men at the Beverly Hills Hotel. He announces blandly that Farrah isn't his problem: he's decamping to NBC and he doesn't care anymore. "My advice? Farrah ain't the only gorgeous blonde actress in the world. Another one shows up in Hollywood every day," he says. And with that, he stands up and leaves, nodding at three such lovelies as he goes. Bye, Mr. Arnold! I'm so glad you're still getting work.
Farrah and Lee leave Casa Fawcett-Majors in their limo, passports in hand. Lee still looks cranky. Lee, what do you want? "Any regrets?" he asks. "Not getting to say goodbye," Farrah says. But Lee, not surprisingly, doesn't really care. "This business is hard on relationships. Thank God we saved ours. Love you, darling," he says, with the emotion of a robot. He doesn't just play one on TV! Farrah parrots that she loves him, too. Man, they are so over.
Two cars park next to each other. Kate gets out of one. Jaclyn, the other. They enter Spelling Goldberg, where they meet a girl wearing an amusing "Farrah Fawcett-Minor" t-shirt. Hello, Cheryl Ladd. Everyone giggles and hugs. The show is saved, Jay voice-overs, and the ratings were still great! Wow, that was easy. "But nothing lasts forever," he adds, quickly moving us into the Where Are They Now? portion of the show.
And we begin with Kate. We learn that she went on to be a big fat failure at movies, but that she later starred in the very popular in The Scarecrow and Mrs. King. And, although this is not mentioned, a remake of Satan's School for Girls with my personal favorite Spelling diva, Ms. Shannen Doherty.
Jaclyn? Jaclyn went on to make ugly clothes for Kmart and star in a lot of television movies of the week. The stick is still up her ass.
As for Farrah, she was a guest on Charlie's Angels and then burned some dude's bed. She and Lee divorced, and then she fired Jay. And now she's crazy. Well, they didn't say that part. But we're all thinking it, aren't we? I thought so.