And over to a scene wherein the girls coo to Charlie via the squawkbox. This is all just to establish the fact that Aaron Spelling has promised Kate that the voice of Charlie will be provided by an unnamed Academy Award-winning actor...
...who is totally wasted at the voice-over session. Falling down drunk. Literally. He actually falls down. And he must be replaced! So Aaron picks up the phone and calls John Forsythe, or as I know him, "Blake Carrington." John wonders if Aaron is cancelling their tennis date, but Aaron just tells John that he's in a real bind and needs a favor.
And the rest, as they say, is history. When John finishes his VO session, he tells Aaron to keep him in mind when he's "putting [his] next dynasty together." Get it? Because John Forsthye is in Dynasty, the best show ever made. Right now, on SoapNet, Alexis is undercover as a nun! Putting Joan Collins in a habit was a stroke of genius. Man, I can't wait for that Behind the Scenes movie.
Smash cut to the results of the pilot's preview. The rest audience, basically, hated it more than any test audience has ever hated anything, ever. "This is one of the worst-testing pilots in ABC's history," says the ratings dude. Everyone rubs his forehead, and Mr. Arnold announces that he's really thinking about shelving this piece-of-shit show. Somehow, I don't think that's going to happen. I need a nap: wake me up when Kelly Taylor chooses herself.
At the Beverly Hills Hotel, Len and Aaron sit at the usual table and very maturely hide behind their menus in order to avoid Farrah and her manager, Jay Bernstein, who have just walked in. Shockingly, these disguises fail, and Jay comes over to ask when his client's pilot is airing. Len mutters something about the network being swamped or something. Jay just smiles and tells them it's their lucky day. "Say hello to American's golden girl," he says, and unrolls Farrah's famous Red Bathing Suit With Nipples poster. Farrah twitters modestly that this is all very embarassing, but Len and Aaron know a good thing when they see it, and ask for as many copies as Jay can get his little hands on.
ABC. F2 is pitching American Idol. Mr Arnold doesn't think viewers want to watch real people on TV. He then walks into his office to find it papered with Farrah and her pert, aroused nipples. He smiles widely. This man knows Farrah Mania when he smells it cooking.
Next thing you know, ABC's given Charlie's Angels a premiere date. Wow, I am so, so shocked by that plot twist!