And then the ratings are in. Mr. Arnold eyeballs them and demands that his secretary get him Aaron Spelling.
Aaron Spelling is in bed talking to Candy. The phone rings, and he hides under the covers. Dan Castellaneta is playing Aaron Spelling as though he's about twelve years old. Candy hands the phone over with a well-timed eye roll, and Aaron gets the news that his ratings are huge: a 54 share. I almost fell off my chair when I heard that, but then I remembered that this was when there were only three channels. "Biggest numbers we've ever gotten for a pilot," Mr Arnold crows. "You've got yourself an order, pal." Aaron is stunned into silence. I never would have guessed that they would give the show a full order, except for the part that everybody already knows that. You know, there really isn't a lot of dramatic tension in this story; Len and Aaron get along, the girls like each other, and we know the show got on the air. So where's the conflict? The network doesn't make a very interesting enemy. This would have been a lot more interesting, I imagine, if it were condensed into the first forty-five minutes of a movie about Farrah Fawcett's descent into Nutsyville.
Speaking of Farrah, she's at home, busy dusting, of all things, when the phone rings. Lee takes it, listens, slams it down, and tells his wife that her little show got some great ratings. "We're a two-show family," he whines. It was all your big idea, you big baby. Farrah just keeps dusting and blandly comments that she's thrilled, and that she's gonna go fix him some lunch. When you're in the kitchen, why doncha pick up a spine, sweetie?
At home in a turtleneck, cardigan, and chastity belt, Jaclyn calls her mother. And it turns out Mrs Smith totally doesn't care about the bikini, because she loved the show! She just warns Jaclyn not to allow her character to do "anything immoral," since "all the little girls at church look up to [her]." Jaclyn is ever so pleased to hear this! Blah, blah, blah. Wake me up when Evil Dr. Will shows up on Savannah.
Later, at the commissary, the girls eat and Kate reads the two illiterate ones a terrible, terrible review. And then she starts yapping that they need to change the mind of the critics: break ground for women! Be trailblazers! Blah blah blah! The three of them toast to ruling the airwaves and showing women how to take charge of their lives and other such important things. Kate takes a big swig of beer right from the bottle, so you know she's hardcore and not at all ladylike. ["Is that what that means? I thought that, on TV, it means she doesn't so much like the fellas." -- Wing Chun]