MONDO EXTRAS

Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Three’s Company

At the ABC studio in the fall of 1979, Suzanne finally shows up for work and runs into John and Joyce. "You're a little late," John admonishes. Suzanne shrugs it off, saying that she can't just leave in the middle of a movie shoot. "What was I supposed to do?" she asks. Joyce points out that she postponed a L'Eggs commercial (hee) so that it wouldn't conflict with the start of the show, and John points out that if he'd known the show would be delayed, he and Nancy could have taken a vacation. Suzanne halfheartedly apologizes.

Later, in some dark-paneled room, a loud-robed Evil Alan pours drinks while Suzanne quotes from an article saying that Larry Hagman makes $100,000 an episode. Evil Alan sits next to Suzanne on the couch and they discuss the matter further. He notes that Alan Alda makes $200,000 an episode, and Carroll O'Connor makes $250,000. Suzanne wonders if they can really expect to get that kind of money for her, but Evil Alan assures her that she's the star of the show, and that they should be paying her accordingly. "No one's tuning in to see John jiggle," he points out. "John doesn't jiggle!" she laughs, and they tickle each other. So...that doesn't offend her, I guess, the "jiggle" comment? Coming from her husband? Sheesh.

Later, in a restaurant, Suzanne pulls out the "star of the show" line during what appears to be contract negotiations. Ted and The Other Guy are shocked to hear Suzanne suggest that she should be paid like Alda and O'Connor. "You are not the star of the show," they have the very nerve to say to her. "You're a member of the ensemble." Evil Alan insists that people only tune in to watch Suzanne. (This whole thing, by the way, strikes me funny, because I always thought Ritter was obviously the star of the show. Weird.) Evil Alan says that they want more money and "a piece of the back end" (one of my favorite Hollywood expressions -- it's one of those that's so dirty it comes all the way back around to being innocent again). Ted and The Other Guy leave in disgust. "Well, that went well," Suzanne says sarcastically.

1980 brings Fred down a hallway, talking about how sick he is of "greedy actors" holding him hostage. "Get me lawyers!" he yells. "Get me so many lawyers I can't see the carpet!" Uh...word? I don't know. I mean, on the one hand, hooray for lots of lawyers, but on the other hand...are we supposed to be lying on the floor? I'm not sure how we're going to obscure the carpet, but anyway. "It's my network...MY NETWORK!" Fred yells. "We're going to hang a nun from the square...and her name is Suzanne!" Wow, there's a metaphor. Suzanne as a hanged nun.

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Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Three’s Company At the ABC studio in the fall of 1979, Suzanne finally shows up for work and runs into John and Joyce. "You're a little late," John admonishes. Suzanne shrugs it off, saying that she can't just leave in the middle of a movie shoot. "What was I supposed to do?" she asks. Joyce points out that she postponed a L'Eggs commercial (hee) so that it wouldn't conflict with the start of the show, and John points out that if he'd known the show would be delayed, he and Nancy could have taken a vacation. Suzanne halfheartedly apologizes. Later, in some dark-paneled room, a loud-robed Evil Alan pours drinks while Suzanne quotes from an article saying that Larry Hagman makes $100,000 an episode. Evil Alan sits next to Suzanne on the couch and they discuss the matter further. He notes that Alan Alda makes $200,000 an episode, and Carroll O'Connor makes $250,000. Suzanne wonders if they can really expect to get that kind of money for her, but Evil Alan assures her that she's the star of the show, and that they should be paying her accordingly. "No one's tuning in to see John jiggle," he points out. "John doesn't jiggle!" she laughs, and they tickle each other. So...that doesn't offend her, I guess, the "jiggle" comment? Coming from her husband? Sheesh. Later, in a restaurant, Suzanne pulls out the "star of the show" line during what appears to be contract negotiations. Ted and The Other Guy are shocked to hear Suzanne suggest that she should be paid like Alda and O'Connor. "You are not the star of the show," they have the very nerve to say to her. "You're a member of the ensemble." Evil Alan insists that people only tune in to watch Suzanne. (This whole thing, by the way, strikes me funny, because I always thought Ritter was obviously the star of the show. Weird.) Evil Alan says that they want more money and "a piece of the back end" (one of my favorite Hollywood expressions -- it's one of those that's so dirty it comes all the way back around to being innocent again). Ted and The Other Guy leave in disgust. "Well, that went well," Suzanne says sarcastically. 1980 brings Fred down a hallway, talking about how sick he is of "greedy actors" holding him hostage. "Get me lawyers!" he yells. "Get me so many lawyers I can't see the carpet!" Uh...word? I don't know. I mean, on the one hand, hooray for lots of lawyers, but on the other hand...are we supposed to be lying on the floor? I'm not sure how we're going to obscure the carpet, but anyway. "It's my network...MY NETWORK!" Fred yells. "We're going to hang a nun from the square...and her name is Suzanne!" Wow, there's a metaphor. Suzanne as a hanged nun.

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