MONDO EXTRAS

Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Three’s Company

Los Angeles, November 1983. Alan's car pulls up at ABC. He gets out; Suzanne stays in the car, looking happily at a headline trumpeting the ouster of Fred Silverman, who has been fired from NBC. Alan is led into Ted's office, where Ted and the The Other Guy are waiting. They shake hands. Alan tells them that he's got an idea. "Suzanne for the part of Jack's fiancée," he says simply, maintaining his game smile. Ted tries not to laugh. "Chrissy marries -- Chrissy marries Jack?" "The viewers are gonna love it!" Alan says, continuing to grin idiotically. "No way, Alan," says Ted. Alan presses. "No," The Other Guy says. Alan accuses them of "holding grudges," but they throw his ass out anyway. Oh, well. He knocks some stuff over on his way out the door, which I'm sure makes them really sorry they didn't take him up on the offer to work together again. As the again-well-chosen strains of "Where Is The Love?" cast their melancholy spell, Alan walks out toward the car, putting on his sunglasses and dreading the conversation with Suzanne that's coming up. He hops into the driver's seat. "How did it go?" Suzanne asks. "I see a Thighmaster in our future," Alan says in a chipper voice. Heh. Suzanne looks disgusted. They drive off, ready to be punished by God for their betrayal of His favorite theater actress, Joyce DeWitt.

Speaking of Joyce, she is wronged yet again when she walks in on another actress (presumably Mary Cadorette, who played Vicky) using her dressing room. Mary apologizes, but Janet is furious. John opens the door across the hall and offers his dressing room to Joyce, but she snaps, "Don't do me any favors." God, what a bitch. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean "victim." She stomps off. She will just get dressed...somewhere else! She hates John and his ass face! God, where is the love?

At the final taping, on February 17, 1984, the audience watches, enraptured, while probably people fall down and misconstrue each other's every word. But then at the end, it's time for the farewell scene, in which the roommates leave the apartment for the last time. (Note that they haven't even acknowledged the existence of Priscilla Barnes, who replaced the errant Jennilee and was, in my opinion, sort of not terrible, and who here is exiting in her nurse's uniform, despite the fact that they've never even explained to us who she was.) Big hugs backstage. Wild applause. The cast re-enters to take bows. They enter slo-mo mode. They wave -- good old John, good old Joyce, good old Don, and that girl we've never seen before who's playing good old Priscilla Barnes. Everyone hugs. Joyce and John make up, right there on the stage. "I love you, Joyce," he says. "I know," she says. Oh, nice one.

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Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Three’s Company Los Angeles, November 1983. Alan's car pulls up at ABC. He gets out; Suzanne stays in the car, looking happily at a headline trumpeting the ouster of Fred Silverman, who has been fired from NBC. Alan is led into Ted's office, where Ted and the The Other Guy are waiting. They shake hands. Alan tells them that he's got an idea. "Suzanne for the part of Jack's fiancĂ©e," he says simply, maintaining his game smile. Ted tries not to laugh. "Chrissy marries -- Chrissy marries Jack?" "The viewers are gonna love it!" Alan says, continuing to grin idiotically. "No way, Alan," says Ted. Alan presses. "No," The Other Guy says. Alan accuses them of "holding grudges," but they throw his ass out anyway. Oh, well. He knocks some stuff over on his way out the door, which I'm sure makes them really sorry they didn't take him up on the offer to work together again. As the again-well-chosen strains of "Where Is The Love?" cast their melancholy spell, Alan walks out toward the car, putting on his sunglasses and dreading the conversation with Suzanne that's coming up. He hops into the driver's seat. "How did it go?" Suzanne asks. "I see a Thighmaster in our future," Alan says in a chipper voice. Heh. Suzanne looks disgusted. They drive off, ready to be punished by God for their betrayal of His favorite theater actress, Joyce DeWitt. Speaking of Joyce, she is wronged yet again when she walks in on another actress (presumably Mary Cadorette, who played Vicky) using her dressing room. Mary apologizes, but Janet is furious. John opens the door across the hall and offers his dressing room to Joyce, but she snaps, "Don't do me any favors." God, what a bitch. Oh, I'm sorry. I mean "victim." She stomps off. She will just get dressed...somewhere else! She hates John and his ass face! God, where is the love? At the final taping, on February 17, 1984, the audience watches, enraptured, while probably people fall down and misconstrue each other's every word. But then at the end, it's time for the farewell scene, in which the roommates leave the apartment for the last time. (Note that they haven't even acknowledged the existence of Priscilla Barnes, who replaced the errant Jennilee and was, in my opinion, sort of not terrible, and who here is exiting in her nurse's uniform, despite the fact that they've never even explained to us who she was.) Big hugs backstage. Wild applause. The cast re-enters to take bows. They enter slo-mo mode. They wave -- good old John, good old Joyce, good old Don, and that girl we've never seen before who's playing good old Priscilla Barnes. Everyone hugs. Joyce and John make up, right there on the stage. "I love you, Joyce," he says. "I know," she says. Oh, nice one.

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