MONDO EXTRAS

Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Three’s Company

And now, Suzanne and Joyce do a scene together for Suzanne's audition. I should point out that John and Joyce are both being played by actors who were apparently put in earth for the sole purpose of mimicking them -- I've never seen the guy playing Ritter, but the girl playing Janet is in a bunch of Glad commercials for bags and plastic containers and whatnot, and she has Joyce's chirpy, annoying voice down pat because it is just like her own natural voice. The girl playing Suzanne Somers, on the other hand, has the right hair, but not really the right body or the right overall style. Anyway, Suzanne, on stage, reads her lines obligingly, and then the audition ends and she and Joyce shake hands in a friendly fashion. Once Suzanne has left, the producer types ask Joyce about Suzanne. She resists, just trying to get home with her brown bag, her perky hat, and the loaves of bread that are stashed in her bell-bottoms, but then she does allow that she thinks Suzanne was "great." See how Joyce always tried to help Suzanne? See how, if Suzanne acts bad later, it will be a total betrayal of Joyce? I had a feeling.

The music swells happily as we jump forward in time and land at the Three's Company set, where Suzanne is arriving in an orange tank top and raspberry shorts. Classy. Suzanne is introduced to John and Joyce. The suits spot them and yell, "This is Three's Company!" Lame, but the music continues its righteous boogie and everyone claps, because it's the '70s, and if you don't laugh, you'll cry, because of the clothes and the decor.

Later, thirty minutes before the first taping, John comes into the room where Joyce is sitting and shows off his new "dance moves," which turn out to be a lot of pratfall clowning. I believe the purpose of this sequence is to tell you again that Ritter was really a frenetic, always-on weirdo, in case you didn't know, but that Joyce regarded him with great warmth. At the end of his shtick, Joyce chuckles indulgently as only a theater actress working beneath her dignity really can, and she claps gently. "Good stuff, John," she says. Wow, what a great scene.

Suzanne puts on makeup in a mirror. Incidentally, they've got her in the characteristic Suzanne Somers high side ponytails already, which is a bit of a screw-up, since she didn't start wearing those until partway through the show. I know this because she started wearing them when Chrissy became a complete buffoon, which you may or may not recall she was not when the show started. She was sort of airheaded, but a little bit witty, actually, and not at all the snorting clown that accompanied those fucking ponytails. I am way too bitter about what happens to women in situation comedies that last longer than one season, so don't get me started on Rebecca Howe. Anyway. We see Norman "Mr. Roper" Fell and Audra "Mrs. Roper" Lindley being made up for the show, and apparently the point of this portion of tonight's tale is to show you that Mrs. Roper wore a wig. Thanks for the newsflash, y'all. Audra looks into the mirror and practices her exasperated "Oh, Stanley," and Norman, being made up next to her, turns to her with a happy smile and says, "You got it, Helen." They laugh. A makeup artist who looks like she came right out of about 1998, with her close-cropped haircut and silver hoops, looks on and smiles. Who forgot to put her in a tie-dyed smock?

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Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Three’s Company And now, Suzanne and Joyce do a scene together for Suzanne's audition. I should point out that John and Joyce are both being played by actors who were apparently put in earth for the sole purpose of mimicking them -- I've never seen the guy playing Ritter, but the girl playing Janet is in a bunch of Glad commercials for bags and plastic containers and whatnot, and she has Joyce's chirpy, annoying voice down pat because it is just like her own natural voice. The girl playing Suzanne Somers, on the other hand, has the right hair, but not really the right body or the right overall style. Anyway, Suzanne, on stage, reads her lines obligingly, and then the audition ends and she and Joyce shake hands in a friendly fashion. Once Suzanne has left, the producer types ask Joyce about Suzanne. She resists, just trying to get home with her brown bag, her perky hat, and the loaves of bread that are stashed in her bell-bottoms, but then she does allow that she thinks Suzanne was "great." See how Joyce always tried to help Suzanne? See how, if Suzanne acts bad later, it will be a total betrayal of Joyce? I had a feeling. The music swells happily as we jump forward in time and land at the Three's Company set, where Suzanne is arriving in an orange tank top and raspberry shorts. Classy. Suzanne is introduced to John and Joyce. The suits spot them and yell, "This is Three's Company!" Lame, but the music continues its righteous boogie and everyone claps, because it's the '70s, and if you don't laugh, you'll cry, because of the clothes and the decor. Later, thirty minutes before the first taping, John comes into the room where Joyce is sitting and shows off his new "dance moves," which turn out to be a lot of pratfall clowning. I believe the purpose of this sequence is to tell you again that Ritter was really a frenetic, always-on weirdo, in case you didn't know, but that Joyce regarded him with great warmth. At the end of his shtick, Joyce chuckles indulgently as only a theater actress working beneath her dignity really can, and she claps gently. "Good stuff, John," she says. Wow, what a great scene. Suzanne puts on makeup in a mirror. Incidentally, they've got her in the characteristic Suzanne Somers high side ponytails already, which is a bit of a screw-up, since she didn't start wearing those until partway through the show. I know this because she started wearing them when Chrissy became a complete buffoon, which you may or may not recall she was not when the show started. She was sort of airheaded, but a little bit witty, actually, and not at all the snorting clown that accompanied those fucking ponytails. I am way too bitter about what happens to women in situation comedies that last longer than one season, so don't get me started on Rebecca Howe. Anyway. We see Norman "Mr. Roper" Fell and Audra "Mrs. Roper" Lindley being made up for the show, and apparently the point of this portion of tonight's tale is to show you that Mrs. Roper wore a wig. Thanks for the newsflash, y'all. Audra looks into the mirror and practices her exasperated "Oh, Stanley," and Norman, being made up next to her, turns to her with a happy smile and says, "You got it, Helen." They laugh. A makeup artist who looks like she came right out of about 1998, with her close-cropped haircut and silver hoops, looks on and smiles. Who forgot to put her in a tie-dyed smock?

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26Next

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