MONDO EXTRAS

Feeling Minnesota

by Sars October 15, 2005
Beverly Hills, 90210: Pilot

Jason's pad. We establish that he does not have a roommate; Brenda thinks his apartment is cool. Brenda is insane, however, because Jason's décor includes one of those flat panels with the bubbles rising up it. For some reason, the actors are behind said bubble panel for the next part of the scene, in which Jason skulks over to Brenda, puts his hands on her waist, runs them up to her armpits, and kisses her. It's really bizarre blocking and looks like he's picking up a baby -- and then, um, molesting it -- so I can see why they interposed the bubble panel. I...guess. Jason stops kissing Brenda to intone, "All right," and then they keep smooching. Again, my experience in matters make-out at the age of sixteen was what we might politely call "minimal," but if a dude had put his hands in my pits and murmured "All right" while we were kissing, I would still be giggling to this day.

We cut to the other side of Brenda and Jason kissing, and it's another inexplicable set-up with us looking at the top of Jason's bear-claw, which looks like a crop circle. What's with the kooky blocking? Then it's the back of Brenda's head, and then after maybe six kisses she's all "my housemother's really strict, curfew, blah" and Jason boners, "Don't worry, Cinderella, I only live a few miles from campus." He couples this with a cheesy eyebrow pop/wink. Ew. Then he starts gnawing on her neck like it's barbecue. People, work with a coach on these scenes, please; the show is not called $3.99 Buffet 90210. Brenda, alarmed, asks what Jason's doing; he slips her dress strap down and says, by way of answer, "Taking your clothes off." "Jason Jason I can't," she says, shoving him away a little. "Why not?" he duhs. "Because you are a gigantic hunk of Gorgonzola," Brenda should say, but doesn't, settling for repeating that she can't. Jason gives her a once-over, and then puts on the icky tongue-sort-of-out half-smile popularized by Corey Haim and slimes, "Relax. I can respect that. I don't want this thing to go any faster than you do." "Really?" Brenda simpers. Yes, Brenda. Four seconds ago he thought he was about to bone you, but now he's fine with two minutes of necking. What is he supposed to say? She apologizes, but he lies that "there's nothing to be sorry about," and goes on while stroking her hair with the side of his hand -- seriously, who directed this scene, Louis Braille? -- that she's very sweet and very attractive, and that if she really wants to go home, he'll "do it right now." All this while looking her up and down again, some more. He clearly expects her to give in, but she's like, "Great, let's go."

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Feeling Minnesota

by Sars October 15, 2005
Beverly Hills, 90210: Pilot

Jason's pad. We establish that he does not have a roommate; Brenda thinks his apartment is cool. Brenda is insane, however, because Jason's décor includes one of those flat panels with the bubbles rising up it. For some reason, the actors are behind said bubble panel for the next part of the scene, in which Jason skulks over to Brenda, puts his hands on her waist, runs them up to her armpits, and kisses her. It's really bizarre blocking and looks like he's picking up a baby -- and then, um, molesting it -- so I can see why they interposed the bubble panel. I...guess. Jason stops kissing Brenda to intone, "All right," and then they keep smooching. Again, my experience in matters make-out at the age of sixteen was what we might politely call "minimal," but if a dude had put his hands in my pits and murmured "All right" while we were kissing, I would still be giggling to this day.

We cut to the other side of Brenda and Jason kissing, and it's another inexplicable set-up with us looking at the top of Jason's bear-claw, which looks like a crop circle. What's with the kooky blocking? Then it's the back of Brenda's head, and then after maybe six kisses she's all "my housemother's really strict, curfew, blah" and Jason boners, "Don't worry, Cinderella, I only live a few miles from campus." He couples this with a cheesy eyebrow pop/wink. Ew. Then he starts gnawing on her neck like it's barbecue. People, work with a coach on these scenes, please; the show is not called $3.99 Buffet 90210. Brenda, alarmed, asks what Jason's doing; he slips her dress strap down and says, by way of answer, "Taking your clothes off." "Jason Jason I can't," she says, shoving him away a little. "Why not?" he duhs. "Because you are a gigantic hunk of Gorgonzola," Brenda should say, but doesn't, settling for repeating that she can't. Jason gives her a once-over, and then puts on the icky tongue-sort-of-out half-smile popularized by Corey Haim and slimes, "Relax. I can respect that. I don't want this thing to go any faster than you do." "Really?" Brenda simpers. Yes, Brenda. Four seconds ago he thought he was about to bone you, but now he's fine with two minutes of necking. What is he supposed to say? She apologizes, but he lies that "there's nothing to be sorry about," and goes on while stroking her hair with the side of his hand -- seriously, who directed this scene, Louis Braille? -- that she's very sweet and very attractive, and that if she really wants to go home, he'll "do it right now." All this while looking her up and down again, some more. He clearly expects her to give in, but she's like, "Great, let's go."

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25Next

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See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

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