MONDO EXTRAS

Feeling Minnesota

by Sars October 15, 2005
Beverly Hills, 90210: Pilot

...to Brenda and Jason doing some humpy making-out in the front seat of his Cherokee, which is parked on a well-lighted street with people totally walking by. The lip mics are turned up to Jesus, but fortunately it doesn't go on too long before Brenda's all elbowing him back into the driver's seat and making her excuses. She gets out and walks around the car to say good night, and he tells her in a very serious tone that they're on for next Friday, so "plan on spending the night." Um...ew? I mean, I don't particularly care whether he wants to sleep with her; that's fine. It's how he's informing her that she will be expected to give it up at that time that's kind of creepy. He tells her to lie to her housemother, and she says she'll try. "Try hard," he intenses. "Try" your right hand, Jasontronic 3000. I really did not remember that he was this much of a weirdo. He pulls away, looking congested; Brenda watches him go, looking conflicted.

Argh! Brandon is in the radio "station," participating in a Very Special Wild Thang Report. Yeah, I know. Brandon looks uncomfortable -- as he should, because this is beyond retarded -- as the DJ spazzes, "So, Brandon, tell us -- what does it take to be a wild thang, wild thang?" Brandon is eager to address that very question, but the DJ interrupts to warn him that the station is regulated by the FCC and the station's faculty advisor. Right, because you can talk about who you're boning, on the air, when you are a minor; you just can't use any dirty words to do it. Whaaaaatever. Brandon wants to set the record straight on "what exactly happened that night." Shot of Kelly, listening in her car and laughing; shot of Steve walking closer to the PA speaker on the athletic field (...whatever) to hear better. Brandon: "Nothing. Happened. And a lot of you guys out there know it." Steve shakes his head, probably in disappointment but perhaps because that statement makes no sense when you think about it. The DJ's like, "Um, that is neither wild nor thang," and Brandon says that he and Marianne sat and talked, "that's it." Behind him, an extra filing records makes a "gag me" gesture, which, seriously, as Brandon drones in a strange baby voice, "It may sound a lot less exciting than doing 'the wild thing,' but it actually meant a whole lot more." While Goofus continues to spread rumors about girls, Gallant goes on to say that he hopes Marianne is listening (she is, in her car, hair blowing in the breeze), because he's sorry: "The thing that bums me out the most...is that you feel like you can't trust me anymore." Jason Priestley is still using that ooky high-ish voice for that line, and he drives the point home by pulling a boo-boo-kitty face and biting his lip, like, we get it. The DJ agrees; he unceremoniously grabs the mic away from Captain Dorkmerica, does his sign-off, and gives Brandon a "nice one, nerdlinger" look. Hee.

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Feeling Minnesota

by Sars October 15, 2005
Beverly Hills, 90210: Pilot

...to Brenda and Jason doing some humpy making-out in the front seat of his Cherokee, which is parked on a well-lighted street with people totally walking by. The lip mics are turned up to Jesus, but fortunately it doesn't go on too long before Brenda's all elbowing him back into the driver's seat and making her excuses. She gets out and walks around the car to say good night, and he tells her in a very serious tone that they're on for next Friday, so "plan on spending the night." Um...ew? I mean, I don't particularly care whether he wants to sleep with her; that's fine. It's how he's informing her that she will be expected to give it up at that time that's kind of creepy. He tells her to lie to her housemother, and she says she'll try. "Try hard," he intenses. "Try" your right hand, Jasontronic 3000. I really did not remember that he was this much of a weirdo. He pulls away, looking congested; Brenda watches him go, looking conflicted.

Argh! Brandon is in the radio "station," participating in a Very Special Wild Thang Report. Yeah, I know. Brandon looks uncomfortable -- as he should, because this is beyond retarded -- as the DJ spazzes, "So, Brandon, tell us -- what does it take to be a wild thang, wild thang?" Brandon is eager to address that very question, but the DJ interrupts to warn him that the station is regulated by the FCC and the station's faculty advisor. Right, because you can talk about who you're boning, on the air, when you are a minor; you just can't use any dirty words to do it. Whaaaaatever. Brandon wants to set the record straight on "what exactly happened that night." Shot of Kelly, listening in her car and laughing; shot of Steve walking closer to the PA speaker on the athletic field (...whatever) to hear better. Brandon: "Nothing. Happened. And a lot of you guys out there know it." Steve shakes his head, probably in disappointment but perhaps because that statement makes no sense when you think about it. The DJ's like, "Um, that is neither wild nor thang," and Brandon says that he and Marianne sat and talked, "that's it." Behind him, an extra filing records makes a "gag me" gesture, which, seriously, as Brandon drones in a strange baby voice, "It may sound a lot less exciting than doing 'the wild thing,' but it actually meant a whole lot more." While Goofus continues to spread rumors about girls, Gallant goes on to say that he hopes Marianne is listening (she is, in her car, hair blowing in the breeze), because he's sorry: "The thing that bums me out the most...is that you feel like you can't trust me anymore." Jason Priestley is still using that ooky high-ish voice for that line, and he drives the point home by pulling a boo-boo-kitty face and biting his lip, like, we get it. The DJ agrees; he unceremoniously grabs the mic away from Captain Dorkmerica, does his sign-off, and gives Brandon a "nice one, nerdlinger" look. Hee.

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